Best Week Ever |
- Kelsey Grammer Walking A Teeny Dog
- Oh, You Think You Party Hard? Keith Richards Says No, No You Don’t
- You Can Be Blasé About Some Things, Rose, But Not This Cut Scene From Titanic
- Is This Pee-Wee Herman Viral Marketing At Obama’s Roundtable?
- Pelican and Pigeon Are The Best of Friends!
- Whatever “If I Can Dream” Is, Here They Are Naked
- Pee Wee Herman and Regis Philbin Rescue M&Ms from Raging Fire
- The Comedy Stylinz Of Tommy Wiseau: The House That Drips Blood On Alex
- “South Park” Depicts Snooki As The Pickle Eating Sex Gollum She Really Is
- Breaking: Madonna Besmirched A League Of Their Own in 1991
- Whoopi And Joy Walk Off The View Set During Bill O’Reilly Interview
- The 50 Creepiest Baby Halloween Costumes
| Kelsey Grammer Walking A Teeny Dog Posted: 15 Oct 2010 08:03 AM PDT As advertised, people:
For the record, I planned this post before Kelsey Grammer showed up on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills last night, which Michelle emailed me about at three o’clock in the morning. Included in the email was “At one point he said to his wife, “Get me the shirts that make me look gay.” You MUST see it.” I don’t actually love or hate Kelsey Grammer, I just find everything he does inexplicably amusing. I’m glad this fact about me is so well known, it warranted a 3 am email. Must be living my life right. |
| Oh, You Think You Party Hard? Keith Richards Says No, No You Don’t Posted: 15 Oct 2010 07:30 AM PDT
You think you’re hard? You think you party? Oh, did you make out with two people last night? Wow, badass!! JUST KIDDING because you don’t KNOW those mornings where it’s all, “I don’t remember shooting that gun last night. Oh, here are the carpet holes to prove it.” Or the old swinging-naked-from-a-chandelier-with-your-d*ck-wrapped-in-a-five-pound-note night. Ugh, I haven’t lived. On the other hand, I also haven’t died. I also don’t have a d*ck, so one of those activities is something that will forever elude me. Sigh. (That activity being shooting a gun. Because only real men shoot guns.) HOW, I ask you, how did Keith Richards churn this out? Did he have help? They are all super human, it seems. How does (or did) one play and produce consistently good music under so many influences? I think I have to do more drugs if I’m ever going to finish my novel, let alone another blog post. (Don’t do drugs, kids). |
| You Can Be Blasé About Some Things, Rose, But Not This Cut Scene From Titanic Posted: 15 Oct 2010 06:50 AM PDT How many times did you see Titanic in the theater? Two, four, ten times? It seems ridiculous that we did that now. Especially ridiculous to those of you who are all, “I was born in 1999.”* Well NO ONE ASKED YOU. (Jealous anger). Here is a cut scene from Titanic. It explains how Rose’s Picasso’s are actually part of The Da Vinci Code mystery. No, it doesn’t. That would be ridiculous because Tom Hanks** wasn’t even in Titanic. But it DOES showcase some quality Kate Winslet ACT-ing. I have to say, this is actually a helpful scene in explaining why Rose would want to jump off the boat. Because without this scene in the original, (I think, if my memory of multiple viewings serves), she is just at dinner, the VO says that she was unhappy and all of a sudden she’s running and wants to jump. And then Jack, blah blah blah. But this is a for realizies freak out, followed by that look in the mirror that just says, “I should die.” And we’re all like, “YES, you should have died, why did you let Jack go when he def could have fit on that raft and you EXPLICITLY said that you would never let him go, I DON’T CARE if you meant it metaphorically, that was still a terrible thing to do.” Anyway. It might be healthy if someone was over Titanic by now. Not me, you. *And most men Thanks for the tip, John! |
| Is This Pee-Wee Herman Viral Marketing At Obama’s Roundtable? Posted: 14 Oct 2010 02:31 PM PDT Check out this interestingly-dressed individual in the crowd at President Obama’s MTV Q&A Session today:
Just a bored-looking dude who happens to be wearing a grey suit and red bow tie? Or viral marketing for the upcoming Pee Wee Herman Show? Because I sit on the internet all day and believe that everything is viral marketing for everything and/or fake, regardless of how little sense it makes, I will declare that this is definitely intentionally Pee-Wee Herman related. Though possibly just a really big, really unselfconscious fan. |
| Pelican and Pigeon Are The Best of Friends! Posted: 14 Oct 2010 01:13 PM PDT We’ve seen plenty of “Wacky Animal Friendships” in our internet days, but this one takes the cake:
It’s a pelican who has a real live pigeon living in his gigantic mouth. And really, if you’re going to live in any animal’s mouth, a pelican’s is where it’s at. It’s like a mouth loft! It really warms our hearts to see “birds of a different feather” flocking togeth– wait a second. Hold on. Pelican no. PELICAN NO!!!!
THAT’S YOUR BEST FRIEND! YOU ARE EATING YOUR BEST FRIEND!!
Pelicannnnnn noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo-hooo-hooooo. In the immortal words of 30 Rock’s Tracy Jordan: “Stop eating people’s old French fries, pigeon. Have some self respect! Don’t you know you can fly?” Apparently, no. Pigeons really do not know that they can fly. R.I.P. PIGEON 2010-2010. (Photos via Splash News Online) |
| Whatever “If I Can Dream” Is, Here They Are Naked Posted: 14 Oct 2010 12:38 PM PDT I don’t know what you are, If I Can Dream. One sec to Google. You are a web series created by Simon Fuller. Cool. Now you are naked and re-iterating that we should not wear fur. Kind of weird seeing someone naked before knowing their name — what is this, SLUTTY LOCAL COLLEGE? Ohhhhh snap! The students there are such sluts. Why use fur to keep warm when you can be naked and have naked dudes block your boobs? That’s literally the only thing that isn’t a really simple alternative to wearing fur. A dude in a t-shirt would’ve conveyed the message clearer. Even if his erect penis was also out and super zoomed-in-on. Even then I’d be like “I understand a little better what they’re going for here.” If the people from If I Can Dream can’t reach this woman who still wears fur, then nothing can. (via Just Jared) |
| Pee Wee Herman and Regis Philbin Rescue M&Ms from Raging Fire Posted: 14 Oct 2010 12:09 PM PDT
What’s that? There was no fire? They were just stealing M&Ms? Oh, sorry, we must have gotten confused with the most amazing GIF of all time:
I imagine the homeless went bananas when they discovered dozens of dimes worth of M&Ms strewn across the urine sponge that is Times Square. Bright side: Regis wears that Pee Wee suit like he was born in it. I kind of think he looks handsome in it. Anyway, I’m sure if I ever drop acid, I’ll fulfill my fantasy of hanging out with these two. Ta ta! |
| The Comedy Stylinz Of Tommy Wiseau: The House That Drips Blood On Alex Posted: 14 Oct 2010 11:53 AM PDT This is Tommy Wiseau’s sophomore effort after the The Room. Actually, junior effort? Didn’t he do a sitcom in the manner of The Office? I think he did. Probably also some other sh*t I’m not aware of too. I don’t care. But just in time for Halloween, here we have his short film, The House That Drips Blood On Alex. It’s about 13 minutes long (eek!) so, in addition to so many other things you should be forewarned of, be forewarned of that. The House That Drips Blood On Alex I think he’s playing a stoner? That’s his comedy choice? |
| “South Park” Depicts Snooki As The Pickle Eating Sex Gollum She Really Is Posted: 14 Oct 2010 01:25 PM PDT The fine men behind what is genuinely one of the funniest, smartest shows of our time, South Park, have finally addressed the phenomenon of navy brown monsters that have taken over our pop culture lexicon: Jersey Shore. And the strange thing is, Animated Snooki is 98 percent exactly the same as Real Life Snooki, with the pickles and the smushing and the drinks — Bill Cosby. I think what we should all realize after watching this clip is that Snooki is for real no lie the scariest f**king thing on television. Thank God Ginger Jersey Jews are there to save the day. Why aren’t more people talking about South Park anymore? It’s still the best thing there is. “Tivo that.” – Y2K catch phrase that never caught on. |
| Breaking: Madonna Besmirched A League Of Their Own in 1991 Posted: 14 Oct 2010 10:48 AM PDT Letters of Note got their hands on a letter written by Madonna to her good friend Steven Meisel in 1991. (Weird, he’s my good friend, who I also write letters to). In it, she says that she hates actresses and baseball and Chicago. No mention of Tom Hanks. She also does NOT mention that the film she is shooting, A League of Their Own, is only THE GREATEST WOMENS BASEBALL FILM OF OUR GENERATION. I will know the EXACT point when I get too famous because it will be when I do not savour EVERY SINGLE SECOND spent on the set of A League Of Their Own. Anyway. Here is the letter.
As an amateur handwriting enthusiast, I can tell that she is a master of reinvention. Also a master of not mentioning Rosie O’Donnell. I thought they were friends in real life? Huh. Or Maybe O’Donnell was not Meisel-worthy. A transcript of letter is after the jump. And, of course, the greatest song ever written for a film, which, fun fact, if you start singing it in public, people will automatically join in. Much like if you sing “Deep in the Heart of Texas” and people clap.
Transcript:
And more importantly: Wait, doesn’t Betty Spaghetti’s get news that her husband died right after this? So sad. |
| Whoopi And Joy Walk Off The View Set During Bill O’Reilly Interview Posted: 14 Oct 2010 10:40 AM PDT Bringing Bill O’Reilly on The View to argue the World Trade Center Mosque with Whoopi and Joy and having the segment go awry was as predictable as, say, if MTV were to make a gay dude and an aggressive homophobe live in the same house together for 85 straight seasons of a reality show. Below, the clip of Whoopi and Joy walking off their own show during today’s Bill O’Reilly segment. Can’t say I blame them — if I had my own talk show, I’d be storming off the set constantly whenever any guests were on, even totally noncontroversial ones like Nathan Lane. ESPECIALLY Nathan Lane. |
| The 50 Creepiest Baby Halloween Costumes Posted: 14 Oct 2010 10:46 AM PDT Perhaps you or someone you know or are related to have a little baby in the house. Congratulations! Babies are adorable. But all it takes is one bad Halloween decision to turn your most prized possession into small human monster that will haunt your dreams. On that note, here are the 50 Creepiest Baby Halloween Costumes that you might want to avoid/buy immediately, depending on your sense of humor. Feel free to pass the word on to newbie parents. And don’t worry! They get creepier down the line… #13… I can’t. Here we go! 50. Untrustworthy Creepy Skunk Baby
46. Alien Bursting out of Chicken Baby
 1. Freddy the Baby Spider |
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