Best Week Ever

This Vandalized Tyler Perry Poster Is Better Than Any Tyler Perry Movie
Watching Mickey Rourke Eat Pasta Is Simply Mesmerizing
The Queen’s 40 Year Old Underwear Is Royally Gross
Watch This Dumb Thing: The Ultimate Pat Toomey Fan Video
Johnny Depp Completes Transformation Into Gallagher
And Now, Jon Hamm Picks Up Some Dog Sh*t

This Vandalized Tyler Perry Poster Is Better Than Any Tyler Perry Movie

Posted: 04 Apr 2011 09:18 AM PDT

It’s amazing how much better this Tyler Perry / Wells Fargo vandalized subway poster is than either individual thing:

Now THAT’S a Madea movie I’d go see! And by “see” I mean, hop off the train to take a phone picture of it and hop back on before the doors close and spend the rest of my ride surrounded by people not looking at me in glorious silence.

Watching Mickey Rourke Eat Pasta Is Simply Mesmerizing

Posted: 04 Apr 2011 02:28 AM PDT

Paparazzi always seem to be the last place you want. If you’re Mickey Rourke, for instance, you probably just want to spend your Sunday dressed like a local serial rapist and grabbing a quick bowl of pasta at a sidewalk cafe in New York without people taking photographs of you.

Well too bad Mickey Rourke! Because the paps were able to snap shots of you eating your lonely pasta for one. Which gave us the perfect ammunition for two of the most mesmerizing images we’ve ever seen.

In this first work of art, the goal of Mickey Rourke is simple: Get that pasta into your mouth without allowing the hood of your sweatshirt to come loose:

He’s a regular Carbra Streisand. But what if things got cahrayzayyyy up in the world of Mickey Rourke Eating Pasta? We bet it would look something like this….

(Epileptics should stop reading about now.)

I can’t look away because I don’t want to. I want to watch Mickey Rourke eating pasta for at least 2 more years, in so far as I will now probably not eat pasta for as lengthy a time.

[Photos: Splash]

The Queen’s 40 Year Old Underwear Is Royally Gross

Posted: 04 Apr 2011 08:40 AM PDT

According to TMZ, a British auction house is holding off their sale of the Queen Elizabeth‘s old underwear until after Prince William and Kate Middleton‘s wedding. Classy move, British auction house. You know what isn’t classy though? Thrift store underwear.

Guh-YIKES. In fairness to underwear, the Queen, and the United Kingdom in general, it does look like they have yellowed a bit with time and aren’t necessarily the original color. But still. The thought of having to put those on is terrifying.

Apparently, the Queen left these on a plane in 1968. Let’s all hope this was some weird accident and not the Queen trying to flirt with the pilot.

“I prefer to keep my lady parts encased in a massive coffee stained doily.” – The Queen.

Watch This Dumb Thing: The Ultimate Pat Toomey Fan Video

Posted: 04 Apr 2011 09:13 AM PDT

The following is an Ultimate Fan Video for Republican Senator Pat Toomey from Pennsylvania. Some of you might remember the Ultimate John Cena Fan Video. If you don’t, here is quick recap of how Ultimate Fan Videos work: They are very dumb and make no sense. Got it? Great.

It is important to note that Ultimate Fan Videos are not at all an endorsement of the people for whom they are made. They are simply celebrations of misrepresented song lyrics. Nobody should mistake the six hours I spent editing this as a sign of admiration for Pat Toomey. We don’t need to get into a whole political thing here, but let’s just say that my leanings are somewhere in the region of the polar opposite from Pat Toomey’s. He thinks there should be no taxes for corporations. Whatsoever. It’s kind of intense. For this next one minute and 20 seconds, though, we are all ultimate Pat Toomey fans.

When are Joe Cocker and Pat Toomey just gonna DO IT already?

Thanks to @joemande for helping out.

Johnny Depp Completes Transformation Into Gallagher

Posted: 04 Apr 2011 07:52 AM PDT

You know, Johnny Depp’s transition from hottest, most famous movie star in America to Gallagher (the hottest, most famous flinging-goo-onto-crowd comedian in America) happened so gradually, I didn’t even pick up on the signs until Saturday’s Nickelodeon Kids Choice Awards:

I mean, they’re not identical yet — Depp does have those wacky glasses, while Gallagher went glasses au-naturale — but the fact that I can type both names in one sentence without being completely absurd or including the phrase “but now onto another topic and that topic is watermelon comedians” does come as a mild surprise.

And Now, Jon Hamm Picks Up Some Dog Sh*t

Posted: 04 Apr 2011 01:50 AM PDT

A Story Told In GIF