Friday, April 15, 2011

Best Week Ever

Best Week Ever

UNSOLICITED ENDORSMENT: Sports Show With Norm MacDonald

Posted: 15 Apr 2011 08:41 AM PDT

Sports and comedy have always had a tricky relationship for a number of reasons, and no real dominant or even successful “sports comedy show” has ever emerged from the vast television ether. This isn’t for lack of trying (Ed Note: I cannot believe that website is still up), but is more a function of sports fandom and comedy nerdery not overlapping often enough to create a viable television niche for the combination.

As a result, sports fans — an already largely-insatiable cross-section of the populace — have been forced to make due with television’s occasional substandard attempts to marry sports and humor, with highly cancellable results. Yes, this sentence was another excuse to link the Mohr Sports site again. Timeless Keith Van Horn joke though!

This year, Onion Sportsdome has provided an extremely welcome exception to the rule — it’s hilarious, the production values are high, and it’s legitimately satirical, both of sports and the forced-hip outlets by which they’re covered. Now, just months later, in apparent double-defiance of television’s nonstop dearth of functional sports comedy, Norm MacDonald has added a Sports Show of his own, entitled — with MacDonald’s trademark curtness — Sports Show With Norm MacDonald.

After the jump, Norm explains why Tiger Woods is more adjusted than his Uncle Bert :

I’m a huge Norm MacDonald fan, and a Weekend Update-style sports show seems like an ideal fit for him, given that his 1998 ESPYs monologue remains one of my all-time favorite things (ditto his appearance on the Bob Saget Roast). Granted, MacDonald’s evident self-awareness and strict avoidance of anything that feels too jokey has likely alienated him from a large chunk of the mainstream, but this overly-cynical comic persona lends itself perfectly to sports comedy, especially when it’s for sports nerds and comedy nerds who are themselves jaded with anything predictable or formulaic.

This isn’t to say that Sports Show is some radical, formless departure from recognizable comedy; it’s still essentially just a series of jokes about sports, but told through MacDonald’s emphatic deadpan. I watched the first episode and loved it immediately — the subject matter was a little all over the place, and not everything was topical despite it being a weekly show, but the quality and absurdity of the jokes was just too straightforwardly enjoyable for me to care about nit-picking.

Below, one of the segments from the premiere episode, Norm’s “What The H?” editorial segment about Tiger Woods. The tone is equal parts satirical and nonsensical, managing to plow through the rhetorical question “What could possibly be said about the Tiger Woods scandal that hasn’t already?” Answer, this:


A half hour of this a week for nine episodes? It’s worth a Season Pass. Provided the show doesn’t instantly get canceled because it’s Norm MacDonald and sports comedy, leaving my DVR to confusingly record 4-year-old Drawn Together reruns airing in its place. You can do it, sports comedy! Me and at least 8,000 people agree!

RELATED: Norm MacDonald being ridiculous on the Bill Simmons Podcast.

Ain’t No Party Like A Gorilla Birthday Party

Posted: 15 Apr 2011 07:47 AM PDT

Here’s Abram the gorilla celebrating his 21st birthday in a U.K. zoo. If you were ever wondering how gorillas celebrate turning 21, here’s your answer — they open birthday presents in a very orderly fashion:

He’s such people! Look how delicately he’s opening the box, like “Suzy clearly spent a lot of time wrapping this, I don’t want to just tear it open, I’m not a ten-year-old gorilla.”

After the jump, find out what Abram got for his 21st birthday (Hint: not a gift certificate to Banana Republic):

It’s a cake! Gorillas obviously love cakes, but nothing alcoholic for his big 21st? No little stripping howler monkey popping out?

At the afterparty, though, Abram got trashed:

Don’t worry – when he wakes up, he won’t remember what he said to the new zoo intern at 3:30.

Frisking Random 6-Year-Old Girls At Airports Very Necessary

Posted: 15 Apr 2011 09:01 AM PDT

The outrage continues to grow after a video of a little girl getting thoroughly patted down at a New Orleans airport was posted by her parents a couple of days ago. Dr. Todd Drexel (hereinafter referred to as Daddy) told Good Morning America:

“Afterward, she broke down crying, because she really didn’t understand what she had done wrong. We were struggling to explain it to her, because we had really stressed to her that it’s not OK to be touched in certain places, and now she’s been pat down in a public setting.”

Boo hoo, daddy. BWE.tv will remain silent no longer. This is an important matter of national security. Should we all just roll over and let the drug smugglers and terrorists win? Do you know how many kilos of cocaine can be stuffed into one overnight Huggies Max diaper? Daddy, do you realize how easy it would be to use one baby’s poo-poo diaper as some kind of fertilizer-based improvised explosive device? And we’ve only talked babies! The larger frame of a nearly adolescent 6-year-old girl could provide room enough for Lord knows what!

Girl Does Amazing Animal Noise Impressions

Posted: 14 Apr 2011 02:04 PM PDT

This is Mel. She was studying abroad in New Zealand and her friends discovered that she is really good at making animal noises, so they taped her. She’s so good, I want to invite her to every party, ever. Check it out:

In addition to coming to all of my parties, I wonder if she would join me in my gang? As we commit heists across the zoos of America? She would either be the foil to distract the zookeepers as we break into their vaults, or she could talk to the animals, who would in turn help up us break into the zoo vaults. Zoo vaults hold up to $60 million on a fight night. Fact.

Wait. This might be my only opportunity to make a “The Doctor Doolittle Is A Woman!” joke.

Well, that’s done. Guess I can cross that off the bucket list.

Thanks, Daily What!

Turkish Police Officer Does Not Get The Badass Entrance He So Craves

Posted: 14 Apr 2011 12:59 PM PDT

In his over-zealous attempt to save the day in a badass manner, this Turkish police officer becomes a comic genius:

This is the perfect video. In length, conceit, realism. Everything. I love you, video.

Thanks, Urlesque!

Also, it reminds me of one of the best The Far Side cartoons ever:

Terminator 2 Cake: You’ll Be Back…For Seconds!

Posted: 14 Apr 2011 01:07 PM PDT

Well, I’ve found my wedding cake:

What an amazing representation of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s final thumbs-up scene in Terminator 2, aka, the saddest moment in film history. It’s so perfect-looking, I almost want to go back and tell the baker to chill out, d*ckwad. Then we’d high five. Then I’d act like the high five was a little too hard and be like “ahh”, then we’d both laugh at that reference too, and become besties then get married and that would be our cake. CIRCLE OF LIFE.

(A Blog 4 Guys via Gizmodo)

Awkward-tising: Walking Dead Ad Placed Next To Funeral Parlor

Posted: 14 Apr 2011 10:54 AM PDT

Wooooooooooops! But, it’s sort of optimistic? Like, it suggests that maaaaaybe life isn’t over? But then if we were to go further with that notion, your loved one is now a zombie that must die (again). So, yeah.

Metro UK

10 Hilarious Screenshots From The “Rise Of The Apes” Trailer

Posted: 14 Apr 2011 10:33 AM PDT

The trailer for “Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes” hit the web this week, and regardless of whether it turns out to be a biting action-packed satire of human dominance or a ridiculous thing about killer apes and Science James Franco, it is already the funniest movie of 2011.

Below, the 10 Funniest Screenshots From The “Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes” Trailer. This is just the TRAILER, people. I’m Fandangoing this movie APE-SAP:

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(Yes that’s an ape unlocking its own cage with a knife attached to a stick, EERILY similar to The Critic’s Jurassic Park 2 raptors)

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