Best Week Ever |
- VIDEO: Every Single George W. Bush Punch Line On Leno
- The Smart Girl’s Guide To The Sexiest Men Alive
- Here’s A 46 Pound Pug We Would Like To Pet And Then Roast
- This 250 Introductions Supercut Will Exhaust You
| VIDEO: Every Single George W. Bush Punch Line On Leno Posted: 19 Nov 2010 03:48 PM PST Former President George W. Bush was on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno last night. And all we have to say is: Move over Seinfeld. Bush was killing it!! If we had to elect a singlepresident to get up and perform at an open mic night, first would be Rutherford B. Hayes (supposedly hilarious), and then, at a close second, GW-Bush all the way. He might not know how to end a war, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t know how to end an anecdote. Here is a compilation of all of Bush’s uproarious punch lines from the show, set to what is definitely not a laugh track. |
| The Smart Girl’s Guide To The Sexiest Men Alive Posted: 19 Nov 2010 02:41 PM PST
But we’re also getting a tad sick of all those abs being slapped on the cover. As a “thinking woman” with “thinking woman’s needs,” we feel that there are dozens of men, smart, sexy men, often overlooked by the bicep-thirsty People Magazine editors. And that ain’t gonna work. So here is BestWeekEver.tv’s Smart Girl’s Guide to the Sexiest Men Alive. If you really need a description for this one, just close out of this post. Seriously. Do it. Or don’t. If you know what we mean. Sterling > Draper 4 VR.
We spent 12 years riding around in New York City cabs, and not once did we ever have a driver half as hot as Cash Cab host Ben Bailey. The man can drive and ask complicated trivia questions at the same time. And that fake Russian accent he uses to throw people off? Adorable. I would definitely take him up on his video bonus question. (I love a good sex euphemism that makes no sense. In other news, do not ever agree to the video bonus question, unless you majored in “Losing All Your Money.”)
Sometimes called “Mike Chang,” othertimes referred to as “Other Asian,” Harry Shum, in my opinion, is the hottest man on Glee. Keep Your Pucks, Keep Your Finns, Keep Your John Stamos– wait, on second thought, don’t keep Stamos. We need him.
Jon Stewart is the “George Clooney” of Hot Sexy Nerd lists, so we thought we’d devote a special place to Stephen Colbert, who gets slightly less love but might actually have the better TV show. (JK Jon, we love you. Don’t be like that. Jon, wait!)
Can we agree that no explanatory paragraph is needed on this one? We couldn’t even blame Cher in Clueless for wanting to get with her step-brother.
Have you ever seen this man steam an artichoke? You will wish they were either one of your b’s. (Breasts)
Have you ever seen this man eat armadillo meat out of a rolled up animal shell? You will wish it was… no I can’t go there.
Sure, he’s handsome, but what really sells Brian Williams is his voice. That voice. Honestly, he can put a damn bag over his head as long as there’s a mouthhole cut out of it. Can’t get enough of his cameos.
You Americans may not know Richard Armitage now, but this British actor is quickly becoming THE IT ACTOR in England. And you’ll be seeing him soon in some very high profile films — playing a Nazi in Captain America, and then the leader of the dwarves in The Hobbit. A Nazi and a dwarf? Where do I sign? Also I’ve seen him in person and he is staggeringly handsome. Let’s all try to make him super famous.
We have trouble differentiating “Actor Jeff Goldblum” from “Jurassic Park Jeff Goldblum” or “Independence Day Jeff Goldblum.” It’s possible “Actor Jeff Goldblum” isn’t very good at math, or science, or figuring out a way to save the planet from killer aliens set on stealing the Earth’s natural resources. But still, fact or fiction, Goldblum definitely has down that neurotic Woody Allen thing, only with the addition of being hot. I meannn have you seen the guy naked? No? It’s worth the computer virus to find this.
Eisenberg is one of those guys that can go from mid-90s hackey sack player in a sweatshirt to hot as sh*t up and coming actor in a Prada suit. (To be fair, this happens to most guys.) Eisenberg stole this year’s slot from Jason Schwartzman, to whom we will be presenting a Lifetime Achievement Award for Smart Sexy Man sometime later this decade.
The top has dropped on whether or not JGL is hot: He is. Forget his 3rd Rock From The Sun bowl cut, and think of his vestiness in Inception. He’s hot indie boy Nirvana.
Remember those art boys in high school that you didn’t want to f**k until now? Meet MGMT. Also check out that nipple ladiessss.
Here is where I get serious. I make no secret about my love for Stanley Tucci. There is an elegance there that is lacking from basically every other actor in Hollywood. He’s strong. He’s powerful. He’s funny. And he’ll take good care of you, judging by the breadth of his forearms. STANLEYYYYYY.
Funniest British comedians are also not hard on the eyes. To be fair, every. single. British. comedian. would qualify to be on this list. Because the accent + a single joke = the opposite of vaginal kryptonite. But we chose The Mighty Boosh guys Noel Fielding and Julian Barratt because they really have something for everyone: Great hair, height, a mustache, long legs or short legs.
This Top Chef judge likes the same things we do! Telling people their food sucks while eating all of it. And those eyes!! Like two small pools of blueberry glace.
The sexiest rehab specialist on TV. And those forearms… does he shake weight? Def.
Seriously, we should just post every British man who has ever acted in any period piece on here.
Jay’s got that sort of nebbishy James Dean thing down pat. He also has a kind of long French looking face that many women including myself have been known to enjoy.
Who’d we miss? Comments section! |
| Here’s A 46 Pound Pug We Would Like To Pet And Then Roast Posted: 19 Nov 2010 03:04 PM PST It’s always lunchtime somewhere, and frankly, this 46 pound suckling pug is beginning to look mighty delicious….
This chubby furry circle named Jia Bao (Chinese for Spot) weighs, a 46.2lb pug whose owners claim makes him nine pounds heavier than the current Guinness world record holder for the World’s Heaviest Dog. No word of whether or not the dog qualifies for the “World’s Flattest Face” or the “Most Pained Dog Expression.” So what does this dog love to do in its spare tire time?
Why, eating and sleeping of course! This dog lives a bathhouse in China — wait, huh? He lives in a bath house? Well, there’s your first problem. This dog is surrounded by prostitutes and/or Bette Midler. I’d also binge eat where and whenever possible. (Ed. Note: I already do.) Are we wrong to say that this puppy would be delicious slathered in barbecue sauce? You guys, it’s basically a pig, camman.
[Photo: Splash News Online] |
| This 250 Introductions Supercut Will Exhaust You Posted: 19 Nov 2010 11:11 AM PST Just as we today gaze upon the pyramids of Egypt and marvel at the absolutely unfathomable amount of time and manpower devoted to something so ideologically misplaced as an ornate tomb, the civilizations of the future will one day look back upon these internet supercuts and wonder “How long did some spend making this, and WHY?” and a tour guide is going to diplomatically explain, “You have to remember, they believed very different things back then…” Below, a supercut of 250 character introductions in one 9 1/2 minute video. Be forewarned – watching this for any length of time will completely exhaust you: (via Gorillamask) |
This week, millions of women all over the world put their loins in a girding machine, because it was that time of year when People Magazine announced their “Sexiest Man of The Year.” And this year, they’ve put someone we can mostly all agree on: Ryan Reynolds, he of the fantastic Bullock sexual chemistry, husband of Scarlett Johansson, former Van Wilder. Ryan is certainly adorable, and we’re grateful that we’re not being forced to look at George Clooney/Brad Pitt for the umpteenth time.
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