Cele|bitchy

David Arquette was a drunken mess last night
Hot Guy Friday: Where the dongs are fiery and plentiful
Natalie Portman in white Dior: too bridey, or just beautiful?
How is Lindsay Lohan still getting lip injections in rehab?
Willow Smith: “I can’t do whatever I want, Mommy has to say it’s okay”
Chris Brown praised by judge for progress in domestic violence case
Jennifer Garner testifies before Congress on behalf of Save the Children
Julie Bowen: “I gave my husband a vasectomy with a rusty fork”
UK TV host Jason Manford quits job due to Skype & Twitter cheating scandal
Jessica Simpson is “unhinged” & she “feels like Nick stole her money”

David Arquette was a drunken mess last night

Posted: 19 Nov 2010 08:49 AM PST

Last night, GQ threw their annual "Men of the Year" bash. All of the Men showed up, plus a few others who were not specifically honored. Like David Arquette. According to Page Six, David was so thirsty (for booze) he climbed through a window at the Chateau Marmont to get a drink.

David Arquette was eager to get to the bar at the GQ Men of the Year Awards at the Chateau Marmont in LA. A spy said he climbed through a window to fetch a drink, cutting his distance to the bar by half. Nearby, Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino continued to milk his 15 minutes as he posed for photos with guests, including Anna Faris and Johnny Knoxville. James Franco cut out early to catch a red-eye, leaving honorees Drake, Kid Rock,”Glee” actor Chris Colfer, Jesse Eisenberg, Landon Donovan, Mark Ruffalo and Jimmy Kimmel.

[From Page Six]

Not horrible in and of itself, especially since I am unfamiliar with the layout of the Marmont, and I have no idea if they have those large, nearly floor to ceiling windows that you're almost supposed to climb through. Or are those just in Southern mansions? Anyway, it's not bad - until you get to Radar's story (with this sketchy photo, at Radar) - David drunkenly grinding on some club girl at Voyeur.

Now, I get it. David is going through a rough time, and I get the feeling that he just doesn't know what to do with himself post-maybe-split with Courteney. I've just been getting a "little boy lost" from all stories about David lately. I wish he wouldn't even need to go through this phase where he's "the cool guy at the club." Just sack up and file for divorce, spend some time alone, learning how to be a single dad, and then go find yourself a nice girl who isn't going to emasculate you to within an inch of your life.

Here are some photos of David by the end of his evening:

Hot Guy Friday: Where the dongs are fiery and plentiful

Posted: 19 Nov 2010 08:15 AM PST

This week, Jessica Simpson and Eric Johnson were supposed to be dominating the headlines. And then Prince William and Kate Middleton came and stole the engagement thunder, and now everyone is all about the royal nuptials and jewelry and wedding dresses and all of that. So… what better time to give some attention to Prince Harry and his FIRE DONG? Poor Harry. This is how it's going to be from now on - eclipsed by his older brother and his soon-to-be sister-in-law. Harry will likely be William's Best Man - but Harry will never be king. So let's give The Man Who Won't Be King the honor of our headlining Hot Guy, shall we? Plus, I just think Harry is way cuter than William. The Windsor genes really came out in William in adulthood - meanwhile, Harry's hotness just gets better through the years. Plus, you can just tell, can't you? The royal jewels are plentiful with this one. He's such a strapping young lad. I just want to mount him. Sidenote: I can come up with absolutely filthy subtext for all of these photos.

Since we're not doing a theme this week, other than “Guys Who Should Have Been People Magazine’s Sexiest ~~Men~~ Dongs of the Year”… better known as "These are the guys I like, do you have a motherchucking problem with that?", I thought I'd show off one my secret Forever Dongs, Ethan Hawke. Yes, he's not the prettiest or the sexiest. But I adore him, against all odds.

CB demanded that I put The Walking Dead's Andrew Lincoln on - although I prefer to think of him as Love, Actually's Andrew Lincoln. He's rather dreamy. Swoon-worthy, in my opinion.

Jason Statham, by popular request. In theory, he should be one of my go-to Forever Dongs. He has the rough-and-tumble manliness that I enjoy, with none of the pretty-boy preening. He's got the accent. He's losing his hair (a small "problem" I enjoy in many men). In theory, I should be all about him. And yet… I still haven't gotten there. I do like looking at him, though, so there's something.

Ed Harris, by popular request. I love The Harris, and I love that he’s aging naturally, and he’s a wonderful, amazing actor… but I don’t get hot for him. I really don’t. Sorry Ed!

By popular (Canadian) request, Callum Keith Rennie:

Sedhil Ramaamurthy - because we have newish photos of him, and I didn’t hate his hair.

I keep having reoccurring fantasies about Javier Bardem and I meeting by chance at a lunch, and sitting beside each other and flirting, and then he invites me to stay with him in Spain, and our love blossoms over time. In my fantasy, my mom loves him too, and thinks he’s a perfect son in law. Sigh…

Greg Kinnear - have we ever done him before? That’s a shame, because I do adore the guy. He’s a wonderful actor, and he just seems sweet as hell. I put a little Gervais in these photos too (I find him hot!)

Diego Luna! I love this boy so much.

A little Clooney, for old time’s sake.

My beloved Fassbender. I recently saw an episode of Poirot with Fassbender. He was an alcoholic and he was boning his cousin. It was surprisingly hot.

Tom Hardy, by request - repeatedly. Like, you bitches really needed your Hardy fix this week.

A little Silver Dong, my lover John Slattery. Even my mom has come on board! Sidenote: Why am I trying to convince my mother of some silver-haired dude’s hotness? Answer: Unknown.

Nathan Fillion… because I forgot him on Canadian HGF! MY BAD, BITCHES. I seriously love him, and I guess I just have a brainfart about him being Canadian.

Chiwetel Ejiofor - I love him.

Dominic West, by request. I’ve said this before… I think he’s hot, but there’s something weird about his forehead or chin. Something that gives him that “off” look that he uses to play villains. Still, The Hotness. Also: a cameo by Idris!

Ryan Bingham, by request. He won an Oscar earlier this year for Best Song, for his work in Crazy Heart. He’s cute… but he’s rather dorky. Dork-Hot.

Part of my secretly loves when we get requests for Bollywood stars. I get a kick out of trying to find photos of the dudes, my (half) country-men. Inevitably, some of the most popular photos are these totally cheesy brooding, shirtless shots. Why is it that only American and Englishmen have really mastered the art of posing shirtless while not looking like they’re made of cheddar? Thus, I give you Arjun Rampal:

Tahmoh Penikett, by request.

Matthew Goode, by request. Even though I find him attractive physically (he’s got that snooty thing that turns me on), I think he’s probably a smug, nasty bastard. That’s how he comes across to me. Cameo by Jason Isaacs!

Agent Bedhead told me something funny about Zachary Quinto the other day, but I promised her I wouldn’t repeat it. So… Quinto is on the brain, plus someone requested Eli Roth this week… hmmm… let’s do a jumble, shall we?

Gilles Marini, by request. I think he seems like a cheeseball, and rather full of himself, but whatever. He also loves scarves and long walks on the beach.

By request, Damon Albarn (of Gorillaz):

Gabriel Aubry, another Canadian I forgot. As I said, MY BAD, BITCHES. Jeez. Enjoy!

Gabriel reminds me of a less hot Josh Holloway. YEAH, I SAID IT. Oh, My Holloway. I adore you and your Southern Dong.

I love when Taye Diggs wears glasses. It’s like he’s a sexy (male) secretary.

Ron Livingston, by request. Band of Brothers for the win! “She took the dog! SHE HATES THAT DOG!”

Are you bitches really all over the new Hawaii 5-0? I tried watching for a few minutes, and it just seemed so dumb. Ugh. But, somebody out there loves Alex O’Laughlin, so here you go.

Jesse Eisenberg, by request. I’m not quite there as far as finding him hot… although the kid is very, very talented.

Adrien Brody by request. The only way I can make Brody palatable (to me) is to show photos of him and Gerard Butler. They’re bros, didn’t you know?

Speaking of Gerard Butler with other dudes, let’s revisit my favorite Gerard Butler photos of all time… The Night When The Butler Met The Hamm. Ignore the ~~bitch who needs the flavor of my slut shank~~ nice woman in the middle.

I loved this request - Prince Carl of Sweden. He really is a cutie.

Jeffrey Dean Morgan - just because I haven’t done him in a while, and I miss the hotness. Sigh… the bigger they are, the harder I fall.

I’ve heard that this season of House isn’t doing too well in the ratings. Too bad, because this season is really, really good, and Hugh Laurie is sexy as hell in his love scenes.

Matt Smith (British actor, Dr. Who), by request. No stop requesting, please. If you request him or David Tennent again, I will seriously begin to question the HGF parameters.

Ralph Fiennes doesn’t know whether to screw you or eat you. Oh, YES.

Mmm… Alexander Skarsgard. Actually, I’ve pretty much been over him for weeks, going on months. The Bosworth finally killed it, you know?

Clive… I’ve run out of things to say about him, honestly. I mean… he’s f-cking me with his eyes. Pardon me… he’s making love to me with his eyes. Sweet love. Dirty, biting, naughty love. *crosses legs*

The HAMM. The true reigning king, the true defender of all that is Sexy Men, and Forever Dongs. Suck it, Ryan Reynolds. No, wait. Allow me to… you get the idea.

Photos courtesy of Fame, WENN, Vogue, Vanity Fair, GQ, Details, Esquire, Entertainment Weekly, Google Images.

Natalie Portman in white Dior: too bridey, or just beautiful?

Posted: 19 Nov 2010 08:06 AM PST

Is anyone else starting to feel like the plague of wedding dress styles is upon us? Perfectly normal celebrities, who are completely unengaged, are going out of their way to wear some very wedding-y styles. Anne Hathaway has been doing a ton of white lately, like her Valentino a few days ago. And now Natalie Portman, for her appearance with Jake Gyllenhaal at a charity event. Maybe it's Jake? Maybe whenever women are around him, they wear white in the hopes that he'll marry them? Or it could just be an odd seasonal trend. Maybe I'm old-fashioned (surprisingly true story), but I don't care for white dresses in the Fall. I think it's fine for Spring and Summer, and maybe for formal evening events in the winter, like a white ball gown (even though those usually look too bride-y for my taste too).

So, yeah… I don't care for Natalie's Dior dress. I just praised her for wearing jewel tones, and now she's pulling a Hathaway. Damn it, Natalie! The event was for FINCA, of which Natalie is a goodwill ambassador (here for FINCA's website). They provide micro-loans all around the world, and they do a lot of work specifically with female entrepreneurs in developing countries. Jake was there, as was my new favorite girl, Florence Welch, from Florence and the Machine (GINGER!). Don't bother with trying to make Natalie and Jake a couple either. Their body language says "off limits" to me - like both of them with they were boning ballet dancers.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

How is Lindsay Lohan still getting lip injections in rehab?

Posted: 19 Nov 2010 07:46 AM PST

Last night, Lindsay Lohan went out on the town, because apparently court-ordered rehab is like a spa with no check-in? Anyway, Lindsay's lips were on full display, probably because we couldn't see her coked out eyes, as she was hiding behind large sunglasses at night. Which brings me (and The Sun) to a question: how is Lindsay still getting lip injections in rehab? These are not the lips she was born with. Did she get them done over the weekend, when she was "working" in LA? Do rehabs allow patients to get lip injections? Ugh. I will not believe that Lindsay is taking her sobriety seriously until the crack lips are gone.

Also, I'm including some photos of Lindsay with her tittays out. IT'S FOR THERUPUTIC PURPOSES. You know what? I'm calling, right here, and right now. This crackhead is still a mess.

Willow Smith: “I can’t do whatever I want, Mommy has to say it’s okay”

Posted: 19 Nov 2010 07:34 AM PST

Willow Smith is interviewed in the new W Magazine, all for her newfound super-star music career. It's nice to see that she's still a kid, though, and she still refers to her "mommy" and "daddy" in interviews. Still just a kid, albeit one who has a major hit and is going to back an album on Jay-Z's label.

It's hard to imagine, but Willow Smith has twice the charisma of her superstar parents, Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith. At just 10 years old, she has already scored a hit single—"Whip My Hair," which bumps as hard as anything by Beyoncé—and a contract with Jay-Z's powerhouse Roc Nation.

"I like the way Billy Idol sings," she says about her musical influences. "Mommy turned me on to him. And I like Lady Gaga's songs."

One-on-one, Willow is more articulate than many adults; what's more amazing is that she comes off as a normal kid who's just following her interests.

"I can't do whatever I want," she explains. "Mommy has to say it's okay." Although she is "focusing on music right now," it seems a given that Willow will eventually end up on the big screen; her brother Jaden became a celebrity in his own right after taking the lead role in the recent Karate Kid remake.

"Mommy and Daddy inspired me to be a performer," Willow says. "I get my flow from Daddy, my singing ability from Mommy, and the camera stuff from both. That's just what happens when you hang out with the Smiths!"

[From W Magazine]

Whatever, I know some people are going to hate on her, but I kind of like her. She seems like a cool kid, and it seems like her parents are really trying to monitor how much exposure she gets to the industry. We'll see.

By the way, did everyone see Jimmy Fallon (as Neil Young) and the actual Bruce Springsteen cover "Whip My Hair"? It's kind of awesome. I prefer this version:

Chris Brown praised by judge for progress in domestic violence case

Posted: 19 Nov 2010 07:18 AM PST

For all you can say about Chris Brown, he’s no Lindsay Lohan when it comes to meeting his probation requirements. Chris, 21, is serving five years probation along with six months community service for his attack on Rihanna in February of last year. He’s had several “poor me” moments since along with seeming less than sincere, by some estimates, during his media apology tour last year. Brown’s immaturity does not seem to translate to shirking his probationary requirements however. In a recent hearing for his case, the judge called him the best probationer she’s ever seen - out of thousands:

Los Angeles Superior Court Judge Patricia Schnegg announced during Thursday’s hearing that the R&B singer is close to completing his required domestic violence counseling and has completed almost 73 of 180 days of community service.

“Out of thousands of probationers, no one has done a better or more consistent job than you have, and I really want to commend you for taking responsibility and for actually working diligently to complete all the things the court has required of you,” Judge Schnegg told Brown.

As part of his probation, Brown is required to do physical labor such as graffiti removal and roadside cleanup duties. Judge Schnegg is allowing the singer to complete the community service in his home state of Virginia though he is required to return to Los Angeles to check in regularly for progress reports.

“Obviously he’s gratified and he’s working hard to live up to everyone’s expectations,” said Brown’s attorney, Mark Geragos, said after the hearing.

[From Popeater]

That’s really impressive and maybe he’s learned something in counseling. The kid is only 21, and while he committed a despicable attack that many would say is unforgivable, he’s trying to do his best to make amends. It’s kind of refreshing to hear that there’s a celebrity who actually meets a judge’s requirements. TMZ has the video of Brown’s court appearance, and he’s dressed appropriately and acts respectfully. It seems over the top to say that he’s the best probationer this judge has ever seen, though. Does that sound a little fishy to anyone else?

Let’s compare Chris’ actions post-attack to how Charlie Sheen behaved after choking and holding a knife to his estranged wife Brooke Mueller’s throat last year. (Which is something that many of you brought up in an article on one of Chris’ comeback performances in June.) There was more evidence that Chris brutally beat Rihanna, and the attack was much worse given what we know, so I am in no way comparing the magnitude of those two incidents. Let’s just consider how these two responded, though. Charlie used every legal means necessary to avoid responsibility along with smearing Brooke in the press. He even had another incident in which he may or may not have threatened and abused another woman. Chris tried to take responsibility in his way and even sort-of admitted it in interviews. (He didn’t seem entirely reticent or guilty, never admitted directly what he did and was very self centered in his responses, but he tried.) I’m just playing devil’s advocate here, and I’m still skeptical of Chris. It’s hard to forgive someone after they could have killed the person they professed to love. He’s very young though and it’s obvious that he’s taking his probation seriously.

Jennifer Garner testifies before Congress on behalf of Save the Children

Posted: 19 Nov 2010 07:01 AM PST

Yesterday, Jennifer Garner went to Washington, D.C. to testify before the Senate Health, Education and Labor committee on behalf of Save the Children’s work in West Virginia, Garner’s home state. Her testimony was all about early childhood development, poverty and finding a way to help out struggling families. Here's part of her testimony:

Of all the roles actress Jennifer Garner has stepped in to, at the end of the day, her favorite is the one she plays in real life: mom. And as a parent, she says she's outraged by the inequity that exists in educational opportunities for kids less fortunate than her own two daughters.

On Thursday, Garner made her second appearance in six months on the Hill to relay her concern, as an artistic ambassador for Save the Children.

“For me, reading to my daughters, singing with them, playing with them is as elemental to my child-rearing as feeding them,” Garner said in her testimony before the Senate’s Subcommittee on Children and Families. “But if you're one of the millions of American parents struggling with the recession and poverty crisis, you’re thinking about just keeping them fed and clothed.”

Garner, whose mother is a retired English teacher, works with the nonprofit to provide disadvantaged families with basic learning tools like books and games to encourage early childhood development. Save the Children also implements programs at elementary schools.

“Ninety percent of our brain growth occurs between birth to 5 years of age, so every word a toddler hears, the music that makes them sing and dance, the games they play, build the foundations for their education,” she said.

On Friday, Garner will travel to her home state of West Virginia to open six Save the Children sites. The actress began serving as the artistic ambassador for the nonprofit’s U.S. programs in 2009 and has since made four D.C. appearances on its behalf.

[From Politico]

Great, wonderful cause, and I applaud Jennifer for her work. For more information about Save the Children, go here.

Now, I have a sidenote, and it’s something that CB and I just spent the last half hour arguing about. I think Jennifer is underdressed and understyled for this Congressional appearance, and I think it’s very unprofessional, especially for a Southern girl who should know (it’s in our DNA!) how to dress appropriately for every occasion. Now, whenever we show Dimple Parade photos of Jennifer Garner out and about with her kids, many commenters note that Garner tends to really look like a harassed working mom, often wearing just jeans and ill-fitting clothes, and little to no makeup, and unkempt hair. Some people always defend her, saying it's impossible to look movie-star camera-ready at all times, and she's just out with her kids, why would she need to dress up, etc. I think it's fine to wander around, doing errands with no makeup, in sweats. That's how I pretty much live, and I don't judge Garner for it. HOWEVER - I think that when she goes to Washington, D.C. to testify before the Senate Health, Education and Labor committee, she should try to jazz it up a little, you know? Be and look professional. It looks to me like she just took her hair out of a ponytail, slapped on some lip gloss and wandered into a Congressional building in a tank top. I also think styling herself professionally would help her cause - more people would take her seriously if she were, say, wearing a suit. Just my opinion.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Julie Bowen: “I gave my husband a vasectomy with a rusty fork”

Posted: 19 Nov 2010 06:58 AM PST

From what little I’ve seen of Modern Family actress Julie Bowen, 41, she’s completely won me over. On the George Lopez show earlier this year, she showed a photo of her now 18 month-old twins, John and Gus, breastfeeding as newborns. It took a lot of gumption to share that photo, and I found it really sweet. She also told a story about having to borrow a babywipe from another mother when her three year old needed to poop in the woods. Bowen will poke fun at herself, and she’s quick witted.

People has a new interview with Bowen, in which she makes it perfectly clear that she’s not expanding her family beyond the three boys she already has:

With three sons — Oliver, 3½, as well as twins John and Gus, 18 months — and a television family that seems to keep her in a constant state of exasperation, it comes as no surprise that the Emmy-nominated actress was compelled to draw a line in the sand.

What is surprising is just how harsh that line is.

"Oh God, no! No more children," Bowen, 41, deadpans to PEOPLE at the March of Dimes Fifth Annual Celebration of Babies.

"Seriously, I gave my husband [Scott Phillips] a vasectomy with a rusty fork — it's done."

Corroded utensils and veiled threats aside, Bowen has come to terms with her transformation into a full-fledged matriarch.

"I'm late to everything whereas I used to be on time to everything," the Modern Family star says with a sigh. "But now I am late and unwashed. Thank God for perfume and hairspray."

At the very least, the little ones at home play an integral role in the actress' unflinchingly honest assessment of her fitness regimen.

"I lift children for the upper body," Bowen explains. "I run for the lower body, and for the middle I wear Spanx. That's it — that's my three-part system."

[From People]

She’s being modest about her fitness as she’s incredibly buff. Running will probably do that for you, though, and it’s not like she’s claiming that she only “runs after her kids.” I’m not a huge Modern Family fan as I’ve tried to watch it mid-season and couldn’t get into it. It’s a very popular show though and Kaiser loves it. Are any of you fans and is Bowen as great on screen as she seems in interviews?

Photos are from 10/13, 11/7 and 11/13. Credit: WENN.com

UK TV host Jason Manford quits job due to Skype & Twitter cheating scandal

Posted: 19 Nov 2010 06:09 AM PST

Before reading this story, I had no idea who this guy Jason Manford was. Even though Manford isn’t well known outside of England, this is an interesting story featuring a mea culpa by a public figure with some pretty gossip-worthy details. Manford, 29, is a comedian and now-former co-host of BBC1 program The One Show, which is described as an evening “topical magazine-style” show.

The British tabloid press has recently called the guy out for engaging in online affairs while away from his now eight months’ pregnant wife, who is also raising their twin 15 month-old daughters. When news of Manford’s online affairs started to come out, he first admitted to sending sexy messages to a woman on Twitter and asking her for nude pics. Now he’s owning up to the extent of it. His wife has apparently agreed to forgive him, for now. Manford has admitted to 12 different online “affairs” both through inappropriate messages on Twitter and what sounds like webcam sex over Skype. He claims that he was addicted to Twitter, where he 200,000 followers, and that he met female fans there with whom he engaged in sexting and Skyping. Manford has since deleted his Twitter account. (Here’s the cache)

While it’s hard to tell in print, the guy sounds genuinely sorry (that he got caught.) Here’s some of what he told The Sun:

TEARFUL telly host Jason Manford quit BBC1’s The One Show last night after admitting internet sex sessions with 12 girl fans.

Manford, 29, said: “I have only myself to blame. I have never felt so low.”

The comedian revealed he had betrayed his wife with steamy chats to 12 girls on Twitter and video calls on Skype.

He announced his decision to leave the 7pm BBC1 show in a statement, saying: “I have decided after careful consideration to stand back from The One Show to concentrate on my family.”

peaking of his web shame, Jason told The Sun: “If I was reading this about someone else, I’d think, ‘What an a***hole. How can he look at himself in the mirror?’”

He revealed he had spent hours in hotel rooms in conversation with scantily-clad female fans.

The Mancunian decided to own up three weeks before his wife Catherine is due to give birth to their third child. The couple have twin daughters aged one.

He said: “There were ten or 12 people flirting and then with a few it went over the line.

“We would start off flirty, then innuendo and then a bit saucy. They were the moments I thought, ‘I shouldn’t be saying that’.

“It was just nice to have some interaction I suppose. But the next morning I would wake up and think, ‘F***. Oh my God’.

“I don’t drink or do drugs, so it’s not like I’ve those to blame - just my own stupidity.”

Jason married long-term girlfriend Catherine last year. She is eight months pregnant.

He has made a full confession to her about his sex tweets to Debra McNamee, 22 - revealed by The Sun two weeks ago - and all the girls he has been online with.

Trying to make sense of his behaviour, he said tearfully: “I think it was because there was a danger to it. The fundamental thing is, I was a d***head. My wife has called me a d***head.

“We have had a serious sit-down about it and agreed that what we’ve got is worth fighting for. She’s fine and we’re fine.

“The kids are fine. We’ve got another one in three weeks. She hasn’t kicked me out.

“I held my hands up. I showed her all the messages. I said, ‘This is what’s happened’ and she was disappointed. But the relationship we have is not about, ‘Right, get out!’ or ‘You’re on the couch’.

“I don’t feel any less of a dad but I still feel I’ve let them down. I just hope they never find out. I hope we can move on.

“My wife texted me today to say, ‘Me and you are fine. We are dealing with it’. I am upset that I have disappointed people. Everyone makes mistakes.”

Jason went on: “The mad thing was, when I was chatting there were messages I knew went too far. They weren’t just flirty. I just didn’t think. I can’t even describe it. It’s such a weird world online. People throw themselves at you.

“I had this ridiculous few days - what the hell was I doing? There were a couple who said, ‘Let’s meet’ and ‘Let’s do that’. That was a wake-up call. I thought, hold on a minute. That was a point where maybe I annoyed them and off they went.”
Jason confessed to gaining sexual satisfaction during sessions in his hotel rooms on Skype - a live video link online - with women.

He said: “I went on Skype with a few girls. They also sent pictures on Twitter.

“It all happened on tour. It’s boredom and loneliness. It was a few weeks back and I was in a hotel and a couple of them went too far.”

[From The Sun]

It goes on, and you get the impression that he feels like a fool and wants everyone to feel sorry for him despite the fact that he probably did this with many women online. So is it cheating to have online sex with strangers? It’s certainly different than sexting with someone you know, even if you claim not to be sleeping with them. (Yeah, right.) This guy looks like a total dork, though. He’s probably never had women fawn over him and thought it was “safe” to get up to something online instead of in person.

Photos are from March and April, 2010. Credit: WENN.com

Jessica Simpson is “unhinged” & she “feels like Nick stole her money”

Posted: 19 Nov 2010 05:56 AM PST

Us Weekly has an interesting story about Jessica Simpson's engagement this week in their print edition. Some of you may disrespect Us Weekly, but, like many tabloids, I tend to think Us Weekly does stuff about certain celebrities very, very well, and my opinion is that Us Weekly has great sources in Jessica Simpson's camp, because they're always breaking stories about her, and much of it turns out to be true. Anyway, the article is long, and at first it just seems like a glowing engagement story. Then it takes a nasty (and fabulously hilarious) turn. Here are some highlights:

*Jessica was pissed off that Nick got engaged before her. It brought out her "competitive streak" because Jessica thought "she would have beat him to getting married and being happy years ago." Us Weekly describes Jessica as "unhinged" when she heard about Nick's engagement.

*Eric didn't know how to react when Jessica lost it. "He felt it was time to pop the question. I hear he got down on one knee and it was beautiful."

*Jessica "isn't making it a secret that she feels she's paying the tab for her ex's engagement bliss." A source tells Us Weekly, "She really does feel Nick stole her money."

*As for as Nick and Vanessa go, "neither of them care very much what goes on with Jessica" and they dislike how Jessica is "sucking them back into this drama." Also, a source close to Vanessa says VM was "pretty shocked when this came out. She was definitely a little like, 'Wow, she couldn't even let us have our moment for a week?'"

*Then Us Weekly puts up a part called "Desperate Times" all about how Jessica has been thinking and talking about weddings for months, and how she and Eric went to a wedding a few weeks ago and Jess was sobbing through the whole thing.

*Jessica's relationship with Eric started just because she didn't want to be alone on her 30th birthday. "When Jessica met Eric, there was a chance he was going to reconcile with his wife. Eric and his wife were still very much in each other's lives. Jessica swooped in and changed things."

*Apparently, Eric "has his own money from investments" but his parents "are concerned this has all happened so fast. They don't understand her world and wanted him to go to business school."

*Joe Simpson apparently wanted to see Jess "married off" for a while and "Whenever she starts seeing a guy, Joe cracks jokes almost immediately about getting Jess a ring. That family is a pressure cooker the minute you step into it."

*Also: Joe is making the engagement all about Jess's career. He loves the attention it brings Jessica, and "he knows the timing means it's money in the bank." because Jess has a Christmas album coming out.

*Oh, most people around Jess think the engagement will be short, so she can beat Nick down the aisle. And most people expect this wedding will be bigger than her wedding to Nick.

Oh, Jessica. Something tells me (my brain) that you will regret this whirlwind engagement. And this isn’t the way to emulate…(coughhahahahaha) ANGELINA JOLIE.