Thursday, November 4, 2010

Best Week Ever

Best Week Ever

William Shatner Sings “F*ck You” Badly, Even By Shatner Standards

Posted: 04 Nov 2010 08:26 AM PDT

Even taking into account William Shatner’s harmlessly ironic musical existence and this clip’s obvious attempt to go viral through its stupidity, this clip of Shatner singing Cee-Lo’s “F*ck You” on Lopez Tonight last night is just truly awful. I realize William Shatner doing anything can’t be taken seriously, but he’s clearly seeing the lyrics to the song for the first time ever — Shatner in his singing prime would’ve at least rehearsed his sh*tty ironic performance.

And of course, here’s the video anyway:

Here’s A Crazy Russian Guy Running Around Naked

Posted: 04 Nov 2010 08:16 AM PDT

This video is not safe for work because it is 7 minutes of a man being naked, but beyond that, it’s really just fun for the whole family. It’s just a naked guy in Russia who goes nuts and starts messing with people until they all gang up on him and stop him from messing around. There’s a really great part around 3:30 where the naked guy disappears into a building and you think, “There’s no way he’s coming out of that building without somebody chasing behind him,” and then THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENS. “Called it!” you yell to yourself.

Thanks again, The Daily What.

Don Draper Says “What?” 46 Times, Might Be Secretly Deaf

Posted: 03 Nov 2010 02:49 PM PDT

Some mental genius decided to string together all of Don Draper’s (Jon Hamm) various interpretations of the word “What?” over the last few seasons of Mad Men.

He says it a total of 46 times, although given the amount of bourbon we’ve had today, we could be off. (That’s a joke referring to the amount of alcohol the people on Mad Men drink while at work. I don’t even like bourbon! What? That bottle of brown liquor? It’s syrup. Syrup! Mind your own f**king business. What? — and scene.)

Either Don Draper needs things to be repeated in order for him to fully understand their meaning, or our little handsome baby in a business suit is hard of hearing. If it turns out that he is actually deaf, and that this entire season is really the story of the son from There Will Be Blood, well then someone get out the silver polish, because I’m pretty sure there’s a Cable Ace Award awaiting me in the very near future.

And now, Don Draper saying what in 46 different ways:

What Would Don Draper Do? What? Exactly.

(via Warming Glow)

The Tom Cruise Crotch Shot You’ve Waited Your Whole Life For

Posted: 03 Nov 2010 02:40 PM PDT

Tom Cruise is in Dubai filming Mission Impossible: 4. Tom Cruise is finding the work to be very strenuous but satisfying. Sadly, Tom Cruise is not taking into consideration the fact that his crotch has a horrendous fear of heights:

It’s shrunken into the size of a newborn kangaroo, people. Don’t see MI:4 for Tom. See it out of respect for his crotch.

Full sized pic ahead. Pun. INTENDED LADIESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.

[PHOTOS: Splash News Online]

Tiger Woods And Phil Mickelson Swordfight With Creepy Happiness

Posted: 03 Nov 2010 02:26 PM PDT

This miiiiiight be a promotional photo-op, as Tiger Woods and Phil Mickelson appear to be happier about holding swords near each other than any actual person has ever been about anything.

Reminds me of when Tim Allen got caught for his like 9th drug arrest then filmed The Santa Clause and every scene was him kissing a baby while thumbs-upping into the camera and winking and his eye would gleam. I have a photographic memory.

After the jump, one additional picture of Tiger Woods and his fellow golfers holding swords and definitely quoting Highlander:

(Pics via Getty Images. Especially the speech bubbles. Crazy, right?)

Lady Gaga Wears Sensible Bikram Yoga Outfit

Posted: 03 Nov 2010 02:24 PM PDT

What does Lady Gaga don when attending a Bikram yoga class in London? If you guess Lulu Lemon…

You’re right!! They make neoprene horse hoof boots, right? No? Oh.

Has anyone made the case that this might not even be Lady Gaga? She could just have a team of slightly large-nosed girls from Long Island putting on acid-tripped nun costumes and going to Bikram Yoga classes all over the world!

Ohmmmmmmmmmmmmmygod.

Hilarious close-up ahead:

[PHOTOS: Splash News Online]

When Did Sesame Street Add A Gorilla Angel To The Cast?

Posted: 03 Nov 2010 12:26 PM PDT

Some other websites might have you believe that this “A Team” Sesame Street clip is notable for its inclusion of Ryan Reynolds as the Letter A. But don’t believe the hype.

Because the real show/heart-stopper in the following clip is not Reynolds. No. It’s the GORILLA MUPPET DRESSED UP LIKE AN ANGEL PLAYING THE HARP.

W.T.F*ck.

Is this a new Sesame Street character sent back from the future to haunt our fondest childhood memories? We haven’t been this scarred by a gorilla on a children’s show since the infamous Spongebob Squarepants “Gorilla” episode.

Human eyeballs in a gorilla suit ahead…

It’s The “Don’t Get Cyber Raped” Rap!

Posted: 03 Nov 2010 12:17 PM PDT

Sure, this internet safety music video looks dated now, but so does anything that came out in…2010?? This came out this month? Oh geez. Why is Early 90s Dreadlocks Synth Rapper Man telling anyone what to do in 2010? “Watch out for velociraptors in Starter Jackets, kids!”

Did he say “Check yourself before you get wrecked?” Does he mean “raped?” Because if he does, it is not okay how happy everyone is about it.

(via Videogum)

Let’s Hope This Amy Winehouse Track Wasn’t Finished Before It Was Leaked

Posted: 03 Nov 2010 12:03 PM PDT

So this track was leaked and allegedly it’s the new Mark Ronson produced Amy Winehouse cover of “It’s My Party” to be included on the upcoming tribute album to Quincy Jones. I mean, it’s obviously her. Anyway, click on the picture and it’ll take you to the song. Then we can talk about it.

Wha? I mean, you can’t seriously butcher that song…or can you??? It sounds as though Mark propped Winehouse up on a bar stool and made her mouth move with his hands. Enunciate, Winehouse!

And the reviews are in!

“She really breathes new weird noises into that old song from America’s Funniest Home Videos party montages.”
-Dan “Music” Hopper

“Listening to this makes me take a second look at Mariah’s Christmas album and its now clear positives, in that, none of those songs are this song.”
-Sarah “Professional Music Journalist” Walker

Via NME

Amy Sedaris On The Fourth Hour Of The Today Show: The Most Awesome And The Least Crazy

Posted: 03 Nov 2010 12:04 PM PDT

Amy Sedaris, comedian, author and personal hero, appeared on the fourth hour of The Today Show promoting her new book, Simple Times: Crafts for Poor People. Amazing title. So, I haven’t watched The Today Show since I was an NBC page and was contractually obligated to do so (I wasn’t), but I’ve heard tell that this fourth hour hosted by Kathy Lee Gifford and Hoda Kotb is loopy. And loopy it is! I can confirm the loopiness. Amy Sedaris is generally considered to be sort of awesomely wacky, but she is far less wacky than these b*tches Hoda and Kathy Lee. Good Lord! How do I work there? I want to drink white wine at 10am or whatever and pretend like I’m not the craziest person in the room.

Don’t even think you can use Amy as a scape goat for your crazy, ladies. You win. You win the Cray Cray Award. First place! Congrats!

Giants Kid Finally Ends LIFETIME Of Torture

Posted: 03 Nov 2010 10:47 AM PDT

I’m all for San Francisco celebrating its first World Series win, but I don’t entirely sympathize with this 7-year-old kid’s LIFETIME OF TORTURE:

OMG FINALLY!!!! No more torture!!!! I’ve been waiting my entire seven years of life to see the Giants win, about half of which I lacked the developmental capacity to grasp concepts like baseball, winning, or human speech!

Unless… I mean, I assume he’s referring to the torture of Giants fans, not secretly telling the world that his parents have been torturing him but promised to stop when the Giants win the World Series like some twisted Angels In The Outfield remake? Cause if that’s the case, I retract my post. Thanks for blowing that Edgar Renteria homer out, flying Christopher Lloyd!

Man In Breathalyzer Costume Arrested For DUI

Posted: 03 Nov 2010 01:18 PM PDT

Really? Really. But really really?? Yes, really really:

Lincoln, Nebraska – A man dressed as a breathalyzer was arrested for alleged drunk driving after leaving a party.

Chief of Police, Tom Casady, said: “Because I can’t make this stuff up, yesterday morning after the bars closed, Officer Tyler Nitz arrested this man for drunk driving. The defendant was still dressed in his Halloween costume and he tested more than twice the legal limit.”

“He was joined at the detox center by a French maid and a naughty border patrol agent.”

Welcome to the internet, Breathalyzer Costume DUI Guy! In the off-chance you’re planning a playwrighting career, you’ve got foreshadowing down pat.

I’m pretty sure the Breathalyzer DUI Guy was the plot of this movie:

[Photo: Splash News Online]
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