Cele|bitchy |
- Hot Guy Friday: Dongspotting
- Jennifer Aniston brings Justin Theroux to her taping of ‘Inside the Actor’s Studio’
- Kirstie Alley in an odd yellow gown: how did this fug thing even get made?
- Kristen Stewart vs. Julia Roberts, It’s a ‘Snow White’ battle of the bitches
- Owen Wilson dumps his baby’s mother
- Linnocent claims she tested positive for alcohol because of kombucha tea
- Leonardo DiCaprio “loves” Blake Lively because she can cook
- Elizabeth Hurley is turning her jumpoff lover Shane Warne into a Ken doll
- Kim Kardashian shows butt x-ray as “proof” that her ass is real
- Jessica Simpson is worried that Ashlee guzzles “8 to 10 bottles of wine” a week
| Posted: 24 Jun 2011 08:14 AM PDT Ewan McGregor. Ewan has a new movie out called Beginners, but that's not the reason I chose him as our headliner this week. I chose him because I was overcome by lust just looking through one page of photos of him. He's just… lovely. He has that rare combination of having both a beautiful AND an interesting face. He's so expressive and I feel both lustful and amused when looking at him. Plus, he just seems like a sweet guy. He's the kind of dude who brings his grandmother to the Scottish Film Festival… and holds her hand the entire time. He's the kind of dude who takes off his kit "for the sisters". Now, he may or may not have been having some kind of illicit affair with Melanie Laurent. I believe he and Melanie boned - but I also think he and his wife have an open marriage. Which means that all of us may have a chance…? David Gandy. I threatened to make Gandy the headliner this week, but when it came time to actually do it, I backed down. Gandy isn't as beloved around here as he is in my pants. When you look at him, you tend to think "Pretty, probably gay." I think, "Pretty, not my type, but HOT DAMN." There's something about him… I'm even getting over this whole "boning a dumb famewhore girl-bander who gives interviews about him after only dating him for a few weeks" thing. Matt Bomer. BOMER!!! He's America's David Gandy, only somehow prettier and fancier. I love him, even though I'm pretty sure he would only go for me if I had a dong. Still, I enjoy looking at him. White Collar is back on, and this season is pretty good already. I like "the hook" so far - I was so tired of the whole "mourning the dead girlfriend, who turns out was just playing him" storyline last season. But I always giggle at all of the completely gratuitous shirtlessness from Bomer on the show. Like, he just walks around shirtless and completely waxed, flexing as he answers the door. It's ridiculous. Daniel Henney. Daniel is Korean, and he's very pretty. In the black and white photos, he borders on "too beautiful" for my taste - I don't like my men exotic and delicate-featured, but that's just my taste. There's one recent photo of him - with the short hair, looking like he gained some weight in his face - that I really like. I'm attracted to him when he looks less like a lithe, androgynous model and more like a dude. Sean Bean. Oh, Sean. He came in as a request on Twitter, but he's made HGF before, to mixed results. The LOTR people love him, as do some of BBC-fanatics who love his work in British television. For me, I've just seen him in a handful of movies, and I think he's The Sex. I'm not saying he's a good guy or anything, he just seems hardcore, rather rough-and-tumble, in every sense. I like that quality in a man. Enjoy. Joel Kinnaman. Joel is my boyfriend, you may remember, although since The Killing's Season One finale, my love/lust for Joel has waned. He's a tremendous actor, but he's on a show with a nut job narcissist show runner and producers and writers who need to take their heads out of their asses. So… while I still love Joel, here's hoping that The Killing is merely his launching pad to bigger, better and more well-written things. Rob Lowe (by CB): Rob comes in by request, which makes me wonder what took us so long. This man is 47 years old, and he obviously takes very good care of himself. He’s been married for 20 years, has two kids and has somehow kept his boyishly good looks without looking plucked or pulled. Throughout it all he’s maintained 20 years of sobriety and a good degree of humor about fame and scandals. He seems like a kinky bastard too, doesn’t he? Ferran Calderon (By CB): Ferran is a Spanish model and he came in as a request. He’s absolutely breathtaking, but a little skinny for my taste. I would gladly spend a month or two with him lazing around on a Spanish isle, scheduling our days around cooking, eating and pausing for sex. Spanish men are so charming in my sadly limited experience. I’ve only been to Barcelona once, and dated one Spanish guy in college but he was just the sweetest guy and so romantic. Ian Somerhalder (By CB): We’ve enthusiastically done Ian before, and he comes in as another request. He used to be my second favorite on Vampire Dairies after Paul Wesley, but now I’m more into Ian. (The show got too ridiculously complicated for me this season though and I haven’t seen the last few episodes.) He’s a talented actor and there’s something so over the top sexy about the way he plays deviant Damon, like he’s campy and he knows it. Ian is dating his co-star Nina Dobrev and they recently went public with their relationship. They look so loved up and it’s kind of heart warming. Denzel Washington (By CB): Denzel is getting up in years, but he still has it doesn’t he? He’s the commanding presence, the vigilante with a purpose, the man in power who can seduce you with a quick look. He plays guys who don’t take sh*t and know exactly what they want, and that’s how I imagine he is every day. His deep voice does it for me every time. Mark Consuelos (by Bedhead) Okay, so he’s “soap opera” hot, but I think Mr. Kelly Ripa is pretty damn fine and so suavely swoonworthy. It’s something about that brilliantly white smile, methinks. Also, Mark’s in the running to replace Regis Philbin; if that happens, then we’ll be able to drool over him during our morning coffee every day. Rufus Sewell (by Bedhead) Ah, I do love a strapping Englishman just about any day of the week, and Rufus is a very intense one at that. In particular, I really loved his performance in Dark City opposite Jennifer Connelly, whose character completely forgot that she was married to him. Crazy sceenwriters — that could never happen! Samuel L. Jackson (by Bedhead) This crazy motherf&@#cker has such personality and a great career to boot, but I’m pretty sure he’d also be a great drinking buddy too. Just think of all of themotherf&@#ing stories he could tell… Matt LeBlanc (by Bedhead) I know that LeBlanc isn’t really Joey Tribbiani, but since that was always my favorite “Friends” character, I can’t help but think of him that way and want him to walk up to me with a sly, “How YOU doin’?” Plus, he’s turned into quite the silver fox these days. Spike Jonze (by Bedhead) While this guy’s not classically handsome in any sense of the word, there’s just something rather endearing (albeit a bit too hipster) about him. He makes pretty good movies, and those dimples are a hell of a lot nicer than Kellan Lutz’s dimples! Less creepy too. Gabriel Aubry (By CB): Aubry lost some major points for dating Kim Kardashian, but I suppose that could also be interpreted as meaning he’s that much more accessible for the rest of us. This guy is so pretty he turns heads and fuels countless fantasies just walking down the street. Photos courtesy of WENN, Fame, Pacific Coast News, PRPhotos, the domestic and international editions of Vanity Fair, GQ, Details, Esquire, Entertainment Weekly, Google Images.      |
| Jennifer Aniston brings Justin Theroux to her taping of ‘Inside the Actor’s Studio’ Posted: 24 Jun 2011 08:11 AM PDT Here are some new photos of Jennifer Aniston exiting her taping of Inside the Actor's Studio in New York City last night. She arrived and left separately from her homewrecked lover, Justin Theroux, who was on hand to support her during the taping. There are even some shadowy photos of them together at one point - you can see them here and here. First - Aniston is deemed worthy of an Inside the Actor's Studio?!? That show has been going downhill for so long - they made Ed O'Neill, a veteran character actor with decades of work, do the show with THE CAST of Modern Family, rather than give him his own show. Ugh. Anyway, I guess Aniston is worthy of an episode - she is a career inspiration to many young actresses with more hustle than talent. Here's how everything went down at the taping:
[From The Mail] Did anyone else think, "I wonder if Justin and Jennifer will still be together by the time the show airs?" Just for the record, I think they will. Justin isn't some John Mayer-style boyish d-bag who gets frightened by attention and media. Justin has been in and around Hollywood for decades - he's with Aniston because he wants to be with her, with all that entails. I'm not saying they're going to last one year. But I think Baldy McZipperProblem might be her date to this year's Oscars. UPDATE: People Magazine has an absolutely exhaustive report on what went down during Aniston's taping. According to a source, Theroux was "sitting in the front row, and she made eye contact with him… Whenever there would be a lull, she would just look at him and give him a wink and go back to what she was doing." Aniston also made some "quips" - here are some highlights:
Ugh. Meh. Photos courtesy of Pacific Coast News and Terry Richardson.    |
| Kirstie Alley in an odd yellow gown: how did this fug thing even get made? Posted: 24 Jun 2011 08:01 AM PDT These are new photos of Kirstie Alley at a screening of Horrible Bosses. Before you get all up in arms - "ZOMG, she wore a SIZE 4 ball gown to a screening!" - let me just say that the screening was Kirstie's second event of the night - her first event was an appearance at a charity event for the Duke of Edinburgh’s International Awards or something. I got kind of confused as to exactly what it was, but suffice to say, Kristie had a reason for wearing a gown. So… about the gown. How awful is it? Pretty terrible. But, you know, she's a size six now. And I'm sure this gown has a little "size 6" label sewn into it. Her poor assistants. Besides the size of the dress, there is a problem with the color. The fabric. The cut. Everything, really. I don't know how a dress this ugly gets made. By the way, CB wanted me to mention that Kirstie is a cradle-robbing hussy (or something). She recently dumped her 21-year-old boyfriend/lover Shancie Boyd, and now she's dating "professional ballroom dancer" Ted Volynets. He's 21 years old as well, and if you think Kirstie is really having sex with these boys, then you believe anything. I think Kirstie "dates" these young guys much like Xenu "helps" John Travolta and Kelly Preston stay together. You can see a photo of Kirstie and her professional ballroom dancer here. I feel very strongly that he spends a lot of time in spas with Kirstie’s BFF Travolta. Photos courtesy of Fame & Pacific Coast News.    |
| Kristen Stewart vs. Julia Roberts, It’s a ‘Snow White’ battle of the bitches Posted: 24 Jun 2011 07:29 AM PDT While this story may or may not be true, it sure does seem believable at the very least. To bring everyone up to speed, there will be two competing Snow White adaptations, which come from different film studios and shall be released less than a month apart in 2012. One of the movies, a “revisionist take,” is called Snow White and the Huntsman and stars Kristen Stewart as the eye-roling, mouth-breathing titular character and Chris Hemsworth as the Huntsman. The other version will be a more straightforward version of the tale with Lily Collins as Snow White and Julia Roberts as the Evil Queen. Such a mess, right? Now the Enquirer has taken advantage of these details (and Julia’s reputation as a rude and obnoxious bitch to everyone, including her own family) to create a rift between the relative star power at work in either movie; that is, Kristen and Julia are now reportedly at each other’s throats:
[From Enquirer, print edition, July 4, 2011] Unfortunately, this will probably not be a battle between the quality of these movie but will likely favor whichever movie gets to the multiplexes first. Under equal circumstances, I’d be more inclined to watch the less traditional take on the story merely because of the creativity factor involved, but that doesn’t mean much in terms of enjoyability either. After all, the recent Red Riding Hood tried to mix up its fairy tale but was largely a ridiculous atmospheric mess, so who knows how a revisionist take on Snow White would go over? Quote frankly, I’m not entirely sure that the public will care that much about either one. Still, the idea of a feuding Kristen and Julia is a pretty hilarious one at that. I can see Julia getting all up in Kristen’s face only to be confronted by an eye roll and a puff of marijuana smoke. Photos courtesy of Fame        |
| Owen Wilson dumps his baby’s mother Posted: 24 Jun 2011 06:56 AM PDT
[From The National Enquirer, print edition, July 7, 2011] I hope the Enquirer’s take on this is totally wrong. I don’t want to think Owen is a mess or that he’s a suicide risk again. I’d rather hear that he’s partying and wants to be single without any complications, because it sounds like that’s what got him here in the first place. He can’t have it both ways. He seems perfectly happy to ditch his girlfriend and kid, but then he’ll also have to live with the fact that he won’t get to see the boy grow up. He’s rich and has a flexible schedule though. If he wants to be around little Ford he can probably make that choice too. He doesn’t have to be in a relationship if he doesn’t want to. The Daily Mail has a photo of Owen and Jade together. Here’s Owen at the Cars 2 premiere on 6/18/11. Bedhead is going to see this today for Pajiba and I’ll surely see it with my kid soon. I loved the last one! He’s also shown in Cannes on 5/11/11 for Midnight in Paris. Credit: WENN.com    |
| Linnocent claims she tested positive for alcohol because of kombucha tea Posted: 24 Jun 2011 06:46 AM PDT It was the story of the day yesterday - Linnocent tested positive for alcohol during a screening done by the LA Probation Dept, then she was called in for a hearing with the judge, and then she was let go, without jail or even a slap on the wrists, merely with a warning to not throw any more "house arrest parties". The excuse for this miscarriage of justice was that Linnocent's previous judge had ordered drug tests, but not alcohol screenings, so the Probation Dept. didn't have any "right" to test her for alcohol in her system. Nevermind that the day before, Linnocent had done an interview with Life & Style claiming that "alcohol… is just not part of my life." I guess she forgot to add "LMAO, JK! And SCENE!" So… basically, the California legal system says that a drunken cokehead who hijacked a car while high, thumbed her crack nose at the legal system for years, crack heisted everything that wasn’t nailed down, and beat the hell out of her rehab sponsor… is free to be a boozehound again. So what is Linnocent's excuse, now that she's learned her very important crack shenanigan lesson? (The lesson: "Linnocent can do whatever she wants, because people have given up on trying to punish her.") Linnocent has gone back to an old-standby, because her crack brain is too frazzled from years of drug and alcohol abuse to think of a new excuse:
[From TMZ] "…and so on." I'd like to punch her in her crack face… and so on. I'd like to live to see her thrown in jail with other crackhead sociopaths… and so on. I'd like to read an interview with Linnocent JUST ONE without having to roll my eyes at the delusional crack lies she's trying to sell… and so on. Photos courtesy of Fame & Pacific Coast News.    |
| Leonardo DiCaprio “loves” Blake Lively because she can cook Posted: 24 Jun 2011 06:15 AM PDT I believe that Blake Lively's publicist is having a great time right now. His client is boning Leonardo DiCaprio, Leo's ex-girlfriend is keeping her mouth shut about the overlap between she and Blake, and all of a sudden, Blake is a major tabloid quantity. Can you imagine how depressing it was for Blake's publicist to confirm or deny the odd rumor about Penn Badgley? Now he's got bigger fish to fry! Like confirming the details of Leo and Blake's romantic weekend in Carmel, California. Like trying to convince the tabloids that Blake is playing "hard to get" (LOL). And now this… Leo loves Blake because Blake is whiz in the kitchen!
[From Us Weekly, print edition] I feel like this story is full of euphemisms. “She stayed with him in LA recently and spent the whole time baking…” meaning “Is it hot in here, or is it just Blake’s fiery biscuits?” And she’s “already comfortable in his kitchen”… something something dong/grundle. I have to admit, my father always told me that I would never find a husband unless I learned how to cook. Take from that what you will, about both me and my dad. I do know how to cook, I just don't cook that often (I'm busy with other stuff, and incredibly lazy about getting in the kitchen). I'd like to think of myself as the kind of woman who can whip up an omelet for her overnight guest in the morning, but I'm actually the kind of woman who is almost always out of milk. And coffee. And eggs. So, is it depressingly old-fashioned that Blake is cooking for her man? Is this, like, a throw-back to a different era - my father's generation, perhaps? I don't hate Blake for cooking for Leo. Once you know what you're doing in the kitchen, it's very relaxing and almost theraputic. It wouldn't surprise me to learn that Blake just cooks and bakes to work off nervous energy, or because she associates food with love (it happens). Or maybe her dad just gave her the same advice mine gave me. Photos courtesy of WENN.    |
| Elizabeth Hurley is turning her jumpoff lover Shane Warne into a Ken doll Posted: 24 Jun 2011 06:05 AM PDT I don't even know what to say about this mess. These are new photos of Elizabeth Hurley and her jumpoff, Aussie cricketer Shane Warne, leaving Liz's home to attend Elton John's White Tie and Tiara Ball. Do you not recognize Shane Warne? That's because he used to have a somewhat normal face, just a handful of months ago. Somewhere along the way, he and Liz became an established couple (she was screwing him while still married to Arun Nayar), and I feel like Liz may be behind this "makeover". For reference, here's Shane's face in January: Shane has long been rumored to have undergone some tweaking here and there, some Botox, maybe a little eye surgery. But to go from that ^^^ in January to this in June, that's more than minor tweaking. Bitch got a facelift. He looks like the love child of Tony Blair and a Ken doll. Anyway, Shane and Liz are happening, they are in love (or whatever) and they've managed to become "established" enough to attend a major London event together. The British press says that Shane and Liz were inseparable the whole night, and very handsy (gross). Shane has always been a horndog and a compulsive womanizer, though, so I'm not sure what Liz thinks is going to happen now. Even as her marriage was ending, presumably because of her affair with Warne, Warne was still married and screwing around on his wife with other women besides Liz. Shane spoke about Liz in a recent interview, saying, "She’s a lovely lady. We get on really well and I’m spending a lot of time in England this summer, working for Sky. We’ll wait and see what happens between Liz and I - but at the moment things are great." Yeah… that sounds like a man who is keeping his options open. I wonder who Liz will be banging when this one goes south? Photos courtesy of WENN.    |
| Kim Kardashian shows butt x-ray as “proof” that her ass is real Posted: 24 Jun 2011 06:01 AM PDT Kim Kardashian has long insisted she hasn’t had any work done to her face other than Botox. It’s hard to believe that Botox is solely responsible for the cat-like change in her features, just as it’s hard to believe she hasn’t had butt implants, as she’s also insisted. Her ass is huge, and earlier photos show that she didn’t always have a bubble butt as she insists. The thing is, no one really photographed Kim’s ass before it became so prominent because she wasn’t famous back then and she wasn’t posing backwards on the red carpet to show it off. So all we have are some odd angled photos that can be interpreted differently. But whatever, Kim had something done to her butt definitely. (ha!) She says it’s all real though, just like her face and her life, and has offered XRays of it as “proof” that she doesn’t have implants:
[From ETOnline] That was really bitchy what she said about Kourtney, but at least Kourtney owns up to the work she’s had done. Kim made a similar nasty dig at Kourtney in an interview with Hello! recently. She said she hadn’t had a nose job and that she just keeps her “face tilted down slightly to stop the shadows.” Then she told a story about how she asked about getting a nose job and the doctor offered one to Kourtney instead. Of course he did, because Kim is “all natural” and “perfect.” Kim said “When I was younger I went to a plastic surgeon to see if I could get my Armenian nose corrected and he said he wouldn’t do it as I didn’t need it. Funnily [sic] enough, the plastic surgeon said he’d do my sister Kourtney’s nose, even though she was only there to hold my hand. It was very funny.” There are all sorts of injections that can lift and fill out the butt without implants, like the “Brazilian Butt Lift,” which involves fat transfer to the butt, or PMMA injections, also known as “hydrogel.” None of these would show up on an X-Ray and the results you can see online (bare butt photos NSFW) are virtually the same as butt implants. So Kim might not have implants but that doesn’t mean her ass is natural. June 2006: June 2006: June 2006: From her MySpace, circa 2006: June, 2011 April, 2011 Photo below via Khloe Karadshian’s blog:    |
| Jessica Simpson is worried that Ashlee guzzles “8 to 10 bottles of wine” a week Posted: 24 Jun 2011 05:19 AM PDT Both of the Simpson sisters love their booze. Over the years, Jessica Simpson has had many high-profile nights where she got blitzed and had to be poured into a car by a boyfriend or gay dude (poor Ken Paves). Jessica has tried to make excuses for her boozehound ways, and for the most part, the tabloids don't really make a thing about it. However, when Jessica's sister Ashlee split up with Pete Wentz, suddenly there were lots and lots of stories about Ashlee being a raging alcoholic. This is one of those stories - Star Magazine claims that Jessica is "on a mission" to end Ashlee's booze-athon which involves Ashlee guzzling 8 to 10 bottles of wine a week.
[From Star Magazine, print edition] First of all: that sounds like a lot to me, but I'm not a big wine drinker. Is it possible to consume 8 to 10 bottles a week and it's perfectly reasonable? I doubt it, but I thought Angelina Jolie was probably hammered after five glasses. Second thing: Is Farty McDrunkFace the best person to conduct this kind of "intervention"? This is like Charlie Sheen going to his brother Emilio and saying, "I'm worried about you, man." Third: While Ashlee may be depressed over her divorce, I think she’s mourning the death of that relationship by shoving her tongue down some dude’s throat. Last thing: Ashlee going back to music. I wouldn't hate it, actually. She gave the acting thing a go and she failed at that - why not go back to music? Photos courtesy of WENN.    |
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