Sunday, June 26, 2011

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‘Game of Thrones’ Aftermath: Why Characters You Love Need to Die

Posted: 26 Jun 2011 10:15 AM PDT

Game of Thrones, HBO’s fantastic television adaptation of the A Song of Ice and Fire series by George R. R. Martin, finished up its first season last Sunday, and boy, was it a doozy. The last couple of episodes were all doozies, come to think of it; if there’s one thing you don’t generally expect when it comes to television shows, it’s that so many main characters end up dying. Naturally, there were some pretty violent reactions to some of these deaths– one in particular– and yes, I see where you’re all coming from. Here’s the thing, though: Sometimes characters, even the ones you love, need to die. And here’s why.

[P.S: Here there be SPOILERS, in case you haven't already figured that out.]

Lord Eddard Stark, known informally as Ned, was the poster child for the first season of Game of Thrones (literally). He was also arguably the “main character,” if this expansive series can be said to have a main character. It may seem a little odd, then, that he got killed off at the end of the first season. However, when you stop to think about it, it actually makes a certain amount of sense. We’ll get to what that sense is in a moment, but first, let’s take a look at how audiences reacted to Ned’s death. When Ned got the axe (or rather, the sword) in the second to last episode of the season, there were two types of reactions among the fan community, and those reactions were divided among the two different types of fans: Those who had read the books, and those who hadn’t. I fall into the former category, and naturally, we’re the ones who knew what was coming and therefore weren’t surprised by it when it happened. That doesn’t mean we weren’t affected by it, though; on the contrary, I would argue that it hit home even more, purely because we DID know it was going to happen. As Rob Bricken over at Topless Robot put it:

“As a guy who loves the books, I guess it’s not much of a surprise that I loved the show, but what did surprise me is how into the show I got, despite knowing everything that was going to happen. I was tense, I was moved, I was emotional — and while that’s surely a credit to the story, making me feel it all over again is certainly a testament to the show’s direction, as well as the terrific actors they hired. When the final episode finished last night, I was desperate for season 2 to start — and I know what happens in that, too. Obviously, someone is doing something very right.”

The other reaction– the one from those who weren’t familiar with the books– was perhaps not unexpected, but certainly surprising in its force: Ned lost his head, and people got PISSED. OFF. And I mean SERIOUSLY ticked.

To an extent, I can understand why. Ned was one of the few decent people in that world, and to lose him was like having Westeros’ only moral compass get squashed to bits. But at the same time, I’m a little confused by this reaction. Early on, the show had demonstrated that no one, not even major characters, were safe from death; Robert Baratheon and Viserys Targaryen were two of the first to go, and they had been rather important up til that point. They also became more important AFTER their deaths, though, which is interesting. Subsequently, I feel like the show did a pretty good job of preparing its audiences for the fact that bad things can happen. It shouldn’t be too much of a stretch to make the connection that not only can bad things happen, but moreover, they can happen to good people. In the real world, nice guys finish last, and if in the game of thrones, you win or you die, well… you get the picture.

One of the many things HBO did right with this series was in keeping the adaptation faithful to the books. This tactic doesn’t always work– it depends on the story, the original storytelling medium, the medium it’s getting adapted to, and so and so forth– but in this case, the story and structure of the books adapted very well to television. Furthermore, the story of the entire A Song of Ice and Fire series is so intricate that to change one detail is to change the entire rest of the story– which, ultimately, you don’t really want to do, because everything could spiral so far out of control that you’d probably end up with something that barely even resembles its original source material. This, naturally, very rarely works. For this reason, changing whether Ned lives or dies would have MAJOR repercussions on the entire series. I’m paraphrasing a little here, but once upon a time, Joss Whedon said in response to his tendency to kill off beloved characters, “What we WANT to happen in a story isn’t necessarily what NEEDS to happen.” And he’s absolutely right. You can get as pissed off as you want over Ned’s death, but the bottom line is that if Ned had stayed alive, we wouldn’t have a show, because that death is the catalyst for everything that is to come. And yes, I can say this with the knowledge of what happens in the books; but if you stop and think for a minute, you can arrive at that same conclusion even without the insider knowledge. What would have happened if Ned had stayed alive? Robb Stark would have no reason to go to war against the Lannisters, the Seven Kingdoms wouldn’t be splintering as much as they are, and odds are we would have ended up with cheap “happily ever after” ending. But the beauty of A Song of Ice and Fire is that there IS no happily ever after. It’s a fantasy series, yes; but it’s not about magic and boy wizards and faeries and all of that. It’s about the harsh realities of a world at war, and the grit and mess and ickiness is what makes it fascinating.

If you were one of the many to get super angry about Ned’s death, brace yourselves, because there are a lot more deaths coming, and many of them will be of characters you adore (there’s one in particular that I’m thinking of here– it’s in the third book, A Storm of Swords, though I won’t tell you what happens so as not to spoil anything). But it’s a good thing that you’re getting angry about them; it shows that you care, and that means that the creative team behind is doing their job and then some. Know, too, that every death happens for a reason, and that without each and every one of them, odds are the story would just stop right then and there. If you want more of that story, roll with the deaths, because they’re one of prime movers that enable it to happen. So find something to grab. Hang on tight. And enjoy the ride.

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‘Game of Thrones’ Aftermath: Why Characters You Love Need to Die

15 Celebrity Wardrobe Malfunctions

Posted: 26 Jun 2011 08:45 AM PDT

To be fair, wardrobe malfunctions happen to all of us. They’re just funnier when they happen to celebrities. So what are we going to do about that? Laugh, of course. Heartily. You’ll notice that Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears are absent here; this is largely because I’m pretty convinced their numerous wardrobe malfunctions are intentional and therefore not funny. What you WILL find here, though, are 15 cases of celebrities unexpectedly doing valiant battle with their clothing. Sometimes they win; sometimes they lose; but either way, everyone can have a good laugh about it the next day. Carry on!

(Oh, also, this gallery is slightly NSFW, in case you hadn’t guessed.)

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Sunday Cute: Wild Foxes Jumping on a Trampoline

Posted: 26 Jun 2011 07:15 AM PDT

The best part of this video isn’t the foxes jumping on the trampoline. It’s that precise moment when they realize just how FUN it is jumping on the trampoline. I’m not kidding when I say you can identify exactly when they figure it out, and it’s priceless.

Happy Sunday!

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Creepy Things That Seem Real But Aren’t: Candle Cove

Posted: 25 Jun 2011 02:40 PM PDT

Creepy Things That Seem Real But Aren't is a series that explores modern urban legends, bringing you a new tale each week.

Memory is imperfect. Childhood memory in particular can be tricky; it may the distance in time or it may be the difference in how one perceives the world as a child, but in either case, the result is that recollections from these early years are often hazy at best. And yet, the images retained– a mark on the wall, a shifting shadow, the static of a television screen– can just as often be more powerful than you might think would be. What if you had a memory you couldn’t quite remember? What would happen if you decided to go digging for it? And what if it happened to be a memory that should be left well alone? This one calls itself:

CANDLE COVE

Does anyone remember the old television show Candle Cove? You’d probably only know it if you grew up around what’s known as the Huntington-Ashland-Ironton metropolitan area of West Virginia, Kentucky, and Ohio. It must have aired on a public access channel or something, because there doesn’t seem to be much information about it floating around. In 2009, though, a post appeared on the NetNostalgia forums for local television shows around the H-A-I area; the post’s writer, Skyshale033, was looking for some information about this seemingly forgotten children’s show:

Skyshale033
Subject: Candle Cove local kid's show?
Does anyone remember this kid's show? It was called Candle Cove and I must have been 6 or 7. I never found reference to it anywhere so I think it was on a local station around 1971 or 1972. I lived in Ironton at the time. I don't remember which station, but I do remember it was on at a weird time, like 4:00 PM.

At first, no one responded. Eventually, though, another poster who went by the handle of mike_painter65 stepped forward with some vague memories of his own. Mike noted that it seemed familiar to him– he grew up outside of Ashland and was nine years old in 1972– but he couldn’t remember much: “was it about pirates? i remember a pirate marionete at the mouth of a cave talking to a little girl.” Skyshale was thrilled that someone else– ANYONE else– also had a few scattered recollections about Candle Cove. She recalled that the pirate marionette’s name was Pirate Percy, and that she was always a little frightened of him. “He looked like he was built from parts of other dolls,” she wrote, “real low-budget. His head was an old porcelain baby doll, looked like an antique that didn't belong on the body.” She couldn’t remember what station Candle Cove aired on though; apparently neither did Mike, because he didn’t respond. The thread, like the show, faded into obscurity.

Some time later, though, another user dug up the thread and added his own contribution, bringing Candle Cove back into focus. His name was Jaren_2005, and he seemed to have more information than either Skyshale or Mike:

Jaren_2005
Subject: Re: Candle Cove local kid's show?
Sorry to resurrect this old thread but I know exactly what show you mean, Skyshale. I think Candle Cove ran for only a couple months in '71, not '72. I was 12 and I watched it a few times with my brother. It was channel 58, whatever station that was. My mom would let me switch to it after the news. Let me see what I remember.

It took place in Candle cove, and it was about a little girl who imagined herself to be friends with pirates. The pirate ship was called the Laughingstock, and Pirate Percy wasn't a very good pirate because he got scared too easily. And there was calliope music constantly playing. Don't remember the girl's name. Janice or Jade or something. Think it was Janice.

It’s possible that his recollections are clearer because he was older at the time– twelve, as opposed to seven or nine. Jaren’s post jogged Skyshale’s memory, though, and she wrote back, “I remember the bow of the ship was a wooden smiling face, with the lower jaw submerged. It looked like it was swallowing the sea and it had that awful Ed Wynn voice and laugh. I especially remember how jarring it was when they switched from the wooden/plastic model, to the foam puppet version of the head that talked.” Mike jumped in as well, asking, “do you remember this part skyshale: "you have…to go…INSIDE." Apparently every time Pirate Percy was required to go into somewhere dark and spooky, the ship, Laughingstock, would tell Percy, “YOU HAVE… TO GO… INSIDE.” Skyshale remembered that the camera would push in closer on Laughingstock’s face with each pause. Then she changed the subject: “You guys remember the villain? He had a face that was just a handlebar mustache above really tall, narrow teeth.” A new poster appeared in response to this inquiry; he called himself kevin_hart:

kevin_hart
Subject: Re: Candle Cove local kid's show?
i honestly, honestly thought the villain was pirate percy. i was about 5 when this show was on. nightmare fuel.

As they all pooled their memories together, though, they realized (thanks to Jaren) that the villain wasn’t the guy with the handlebar mustache– that was merely the sidekick, Horace Horrible- but rather another marionette called the Skin-Taker.

Wait a minute: The Skin-Taker? What the hell kind of kid’s show are we talking about here?

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Generate Your Own Arty Bollocks

Posted: 25 Jun 2011 01:15 PM PDT

Are you an artist of some sort? Do you hate writing artistic statements? I know I do. They’re a necessary evil, unfortunately; if you want funding, you have to write them, and they sure as hell won’t write themselves. OR WILL THEY? With the aid of this handy new Arty Bollocks Generator, you’ll never have to write another artistic statement again! Simply click on the button to generate some bollocks, and voila! Instant artistic statement! Don’t like your first one? Never fear– just keep on clicking until you end up with one you like. Let’s see what sort of artist it thinks I am, shall we?

Okay, so I’ve apparently moved beyond the modern and ventured into postmodern territory. I’m not exactly sure what that has to do with emotional memories, but it sure does sound pretentious. Furthermore, I’ve always generally considered ALL memories to be emotional. I suppose there’s such a thing as physical memory– muscle memory and all that– but honestly, I don’t consider my arm’s recollection of how far up it has to reach in order to open the kitchen cabinets to be on the same level as my brain’s recollection about getting lost in the mall when I was five. Also, I wasn’t aware that power could become a cacophony; what exactly does power sound like? Moreover, what does it sound like in large quantities (which, presumably, it must be in, if there is in fact a cacophony going on)? If money is power, maybe it sounds something like the chink of spare change jangling in a pocket. A really, really big pocket. Any other guesses? Anyone? No? Oooookay then; moving on…

Aha! The tyranny of aging (or ageing, if you prefer) and skateboard ethics! I may have only been on a skateboard once in my life, but I can definitely see how the passage of time could have a tyrannical hold on whether or not one can or should be riding a skateboard. Though perhaps I should refrain from mentioning how ungainly I looked flying off the skateboard and faceplanting into the pavement… Anyway! Apparently I’m supposed to like Andy Warhol quite a bit, as this is the second time he has appeared as an influence; maybe it has something to do with an attraction to soup cans or Marilyn Monroe. For is not that soup can representative of the human condition, which can then be seen in Marilyn’s tragic downfall? Our condition is inaccurate indeed. Only the soup can can reveal its truth. The soup can.. of LIFE.

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Snap This: Sean Connery Writes a Letter to Steve Jobs

Posted: 25 Jun 2011 11:45 AM PDT

Circa 1998, Sean Connery wrote a letter to Steve Jobs stating in no uncertain terms that he would never, under any circumstances, appear in any Apple advertisements. Okay, so he didn’t really– it’s a small spoof which is in actuality part of a bigger spoof– but it’s still pretty funny. I don’t know about you, but I really enjoy the image of Sean Connery yelling “I am f**king JAMES BOND!” at Steve Jobs.

[Via The Daily What Geek]

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