Cele|bitchy

Elisabetta Canalis is “down in the dumps” post-Clooney, says her mom
Jennifer Aniston: “Don’t confront your man w/ things you’re not happy about”
Kim Kardashian wants to get down to a “size 2″ for her wedding
The ‘Mission: Impossible 4 - Ghost Protocol’ trailer, can we take Tom Cruise seriously?
Kim Zolciak debuts her newborn son, Kroy Jagger (”K.J.”) to L&S
David Duchovny and Téa Leoni have split up again
From the Desk of Clive Owen: Did you miss me, bitches?
Pippa Middleton & Alex Loudon are still together: what happened to Uptradey?
Rosie Huntington-Whiteley in red lamé: showgirl fug or stunning?
Alicia Keys’ wax figure: accurate or too Caucasian-looking?

Elisabetta Canalis is “down in the dumps” post-Clooney, says her mom

Posted: 29 Jun 2011 09:00 AM PDT

You know what's surprising? It's been a week and Elisabetta Canalis still hasn't given a big interview about her split from George Clooney. My recommendation for her was to do it quickly, because we, the global gossip audience, won't give a crap about her two months post-split. I think that in Elisabetta's mind, though, she's a huge star with her own fan base, and her fans will wait patiently for her to speak about this. In the meantime, we've been amusing ourselves with reports about how Clooney dumped her (a fight in which he basically kicked her out of his house) and how Elisabetta basically just "drove him nuts." Now we have a report - courtesy of Us Weekly's translation of Vanity Fair Italy, from Elisabetta's mom. According to Mother Canalis, Eli is "down in the dumps." Isn't that an English idiom? Do Italians have "down in the dumps" too?

Molto triste. Elisabetta Canalis’s parents have spoken up about her split from George Clooney after two years together.

The 32-year-old Italian model “is very down in the dumps,” her mother, Bruna, tells the Italian edition of Vanity Fair. “I’ve spoken to her, and she is very sad, but these things happen.”

Clooney, 50, first met Bruna and papa Cesare, a doctor, during a much-photographed visit to Sardinia last year. “He is a nice guy, good fun,” Cesare told Vanity Fair. “We had a good time, but there was a lot of attention and we are not used to it.”

Elisabetta’s dad admits he’s bummed that the handsome American movie star won’t be joining the family. “He certainly would have made a good son-in-law, but it’s my daughter who has to decide.”

Canalis and Clooney have publicly expressed different views on becoming husband and wife; once-married Clooney swore off the institution in a January 2011 interview, while Canalis said in a June chat she is a “firm believer in marriage.”

Italian Vanity Fair also reports that Canalis recently stopped by Clooney’s Villa Oleandra home in Lake Como to clear out her things. “She had her dog with her and was smoking a lot,” one witness said.

[From Us Weekly]

OMG!! "She had her dog with her and was smoking a lot." I would have loved to have seen photos of that. All of it. Elisabetta showing up at Lake Como, kind of tipsy, her belligerent pout strained with wine. She would be holding her dog and blowing smoke rings as her eyes follow Luca and Antonio, the burly, hot Italian movers she hired. "I am over you!" she declares to Clooney, who is watching her with ambivalence. "I don't need you… I could have Luca. I could have Berlusconi! I could have another movie star!" Eli cries through the crescendo of her little dogs' furious barks. Clooney holds out his hand and Eli throws the key at him. "BASTARD!"

Photos courtesy of Fame and WENN.

Jennifer Aniston: “Don’t confront your man w/ things you’re not happy about”

Posted: 29 Jun 2011 08:48 AM PDT

I got this story lead from Fark, where they titled it “Jennifer Aniston reveals the secret to a successful relationship. That’s like Rosie O’Donnell revealing the secret to a successful weight-loss program.” I would counter that it’s more like Kirstie Alley revealing the secret to a successful weight loss program. A lot of yo-yoing followed by a recent and as-of-yet quite short-lived success that they’re publicizing every way to Sunday. So ShowbizSpy has a bunch of quotes from Jennifer Aniston in which she deigns to give relationship advice. They offer these with no context or source, but it sounds like her.

The Horrible Bosses star — who is dating actor Justin Theroux – insists it is crucial to be able to talk openly and honestly to your partner in order for love to last.

"You need to talk to each other and you have to say what you want," said Jennifer, who was previously married to Brad Pitt.

"You don't confront your man about things which you're not happy about, you approach it in a much more constructive way. You never want to be in an adversarial situation where it's you versus him. All couples face those kinds of difficulties, but you've got to be able to talk about your problems and your needs and do it in a positive way. That's easier said than done, of course."

As well as sharing her advice on relationships, the 42-year-old actress has also revealed her philosophy on life.

Jennifer insists she doesn't "waste time being negative" and tries to be an "optimistic" person at all times.

"It's important to live openly and with hope; I try to be open and look forward to tomorrow. I consider myself a very optimistic and positive person. I want to be caring and understanding of the people I love and enjoy their company and spend good time with them," she said.

"It's so easy to find things to worry about or complain about and I've learned over the years that you don't need to waste time being negative. Having a good conversation over a bottle of wine is about as magical an experience as you can have when you're in the moment and allowing yourself to enjoy things."

[From ShowbizSpy]

Other outlets attribute these quotes to an interview with New! Magazine, which sounds suspect. It may be important to reserve judgment until we know whether they’re accurate, although you know I’m not going to do that.

Look, I get what she’s saying about how you need to approach things from a win-win perspective and work in a relationship as a team instead of as an individual ego fighting for your way. (Not that she would ever phrase it that coherently.) I disagree with her opener that “you don’t confront your man about things which you’re not happy about,” although that’s obviously not what she’s saying. I’ve been married for six years, not that it makes me an expert in any way, but I know that if you don’t bring up things that bother you they will sit there under the surface, fester and affect your relationship until you resolve them. Even if you think you can forget about something, in my case it’s hard not to and communication is necessary to resolve things. Usually it’s a totally different situation than I assumed and just talking to the other person about it will help clear the air and get me to understand that it’s not what I thought. So it would be dumb not to bring up something. But there’s a way to bring it up so that it’s framed in a positive way and that’s probably what she meant.

Photo credit: Fame

Kim Kardashian wants to get down to a “size 2″ for her wedding

Posted: 29 Jun 2011 08:20 AM PDT

A few months ago, Kim Kardashian did an interview with a British magazine, and she was trying to sell herself as the patron saint of curvy women and loving-your-body. Unfortunately, Kim went on her "Curvy is Beautiful" diatribe in the midst of trying to remind us that she's a SIZE 4. Now… Kim is surprisingly petite, I'll believe that. I think she's a short little thing with a tight little hourglass figure. But there's just no way that with that ass, those hips and those boobs that she can fit into a traditionally-sized 4. So, I tend to think that Kim is a card-carrying member of The Kirstie Alley House of Delusional Sizing. Imagine my surprise then that Kim is pitching stories to the tabloids about how she wants to get down to a "size 2" for her wedding. For real:

Kim's been working hard with star trainer Tracy Anderson to get toned! Kim Kardashian is one of the hottest women in Hollywood, but she wants to get as skinny as possible for her upcoming nuptials to Kris Humphries!

Kim, 30, is working harder than ever on her body with celebrity trainer Tracy Anderson, OK! reports.

"She wants to drop two sizes," a source close to Kim says. "Kim would love to lose 15 pounds, but she'll be happy with 10."

Tracy says Kim needs to focus up for her big day to achieve results.

"Sometimes, when you fall in love, you take a little time off from things that are part of your regular routine," she says. "So she's going to have to get serious for her wedding."

Kim will reportedly shed the pounds through a strict diet and exercising for up to two hours a day, six days a week. What a workout!

[From Hollywood Life]

Ah, she's doing the Tracy Anderson "diet". Which as we know consists of working out every day for two to four hours and eating 800 calories a day. I have no doubt that Kim will lose weight on this "diet". But will she get down to a "size 2"? Sigh… you know what I would like? I would like Kim to focus on undoing her crazy kat-face for the wedding. I don't want to see it in her wedding photos.

Here are some photos of Kim on the set of Project Runway, where she was a guest judge. I swear, I'm not going to watch this new season. And if this is the "caliber" of guest judges, I will actively try to miss it.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

The ‘Mission: Impossible 4 - Ghost Protocol’ trailer, can we take Tom Cruise seriously?

Posted: 29 Jun 2011 07:35 AM PDT

Ah yes, it seems like just yesterday that Tom Cruise and his bizarre, lumpy stomach were waltzing around (repeatedly, no less) with toy guns and glass-cutting hipples in tow on the set of Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol, but now we’ve finally received a trailer for the movie. As expected, Cruise performs a lot of running, kicking, and death-defying stunting in this trailer, but it feels a bit odd to watch him doing all of this to the tune of Eminem’s “Won’t Back Down.” Also, I hate to say it (really, I do), but if Cruise were any other existing action star (like, say, Jason Statham), the entire thing wouldn’t seem so ridiculous. The fact of the matter is that, while Cruise had a decent run as super-spy Ethan Hunt in the first three installments of the franchise, his public persona has suffered so much damage that everything that he does nowadays seems like a spoof; and that’s clearly not the vibe that the producers were going for here. Anyway, Jeremy Renner looks great in the trailer, so there’s that, right?

Interestingly enough, Katie Holmes was recently asked for her opinion (as if she’s allowed to form them) on Ghost Protocol, and she describes the movie as “intense.”

MTV News caught up with Cruise’s better half, Katie Holmes, Monday during the press day for Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark, [and] we asked if she’s seen any of the film yet.

“I have. I had an advanced screening,” she said with a laugh, adding that it’s a perk of being married to the film’s star.

As for her thoughts about Cruise’s death-defying stunts in the film, particularly those he performed atop Dubai’s Burj Khalifa (the world’s tallest building), Holmes turned the question over to Guillermo del Toro, who produced Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark.

“What did you think, Guillermo, about the Burj?” she asked him.

“I love it!” he said, at which point they both agreed that Cruise’s stunts were scarier than their film, which revolves around the demonic activities of a group of terrifying little creatures that seek out and kill humans, particularly children.

“It’s amazing,’ Holmes continued. “The movie is going to be very cool and intense and the best Mission yet.”

The actress also mentioned that she’d be game for a role that required a few crazy stunts herself. “I think it sounds fun,” she said.

[From MTV]

Oh, Katie. So many things spring to mind when botwife is permitted to speak; but it suffices to point out that, when MTV asked her a question that did not result in a pre-rehearsed answer, she had to deflect the unanticipated inquiry towards the person (in this case, Guillermo) sitting next to her. A Scientology richochet, if you will. Also, it’s rather amusing that she still desires an action movie career, since her first “meeting” with Tom Cruise reportedly occurred under the guise of an audition for Mission: Impossible 3 but was truly an “audition” for the role of Mrs. Unhinged, Lift-Wearing Midget. How romantic.

Now and because I know you all asked for it, let’s just revisit Tom and his epic moobs on the set of Ghost Protocol last October and December, shall we?

Tom Cruise butching it up last fall on set courtesy of WENN and Bauer-Griffin.

Kim Zolciak debuts her newborn son, Kroy Jagger (”K.J.”) to L&S

Posted: 29 Jun 2011 07:30 AM PDT

One month ago, I was surprised when Kim Zolciak (RHOA) gave birth on schedule to a healthy baby boy. One, I was surprised because Kim is "32" and I was glad she had a healthy, full-term pregnancy and that she was being honest about the date of conception. Two, I was surprised by the little boy's name: Kroy Jagger. Kim's new baby-daddy is named Kroy, so this is little Kroy Jr. But "Jagger"? Anyway, Kim released this surprisingly classy "baby's first photo shoot" picture of herself and her baby. I applaud Kim for not demanding that her baby be Photoshopped to look "hotter".

Real Housewives of Atlanta's Kim Zolciak gives Life & Style an exclusive first look at her new son!

"It's unimaginable — I'm so blessed, so lucky," the star gushes to Life & Style about her first son, Kroy Jagger, or K.J., as the family affectionately call him. "I'm just so crazy in love with K.J. – I'm always kissing his big old lips."

Kim and her partner, Atlanta Falcons defensive end Kroy Biermann, welcomed their bundle of joy into the world on May 31.

"The actual delivery itself was very private, very personal," Kim reveals to Life & Style. "To be in such a happy place with Kroy there, it was definitely very emotional. It couldn't have been more perfect."

Kim says daughters Ariana, 9, and Brielle, 13, are her little helpers and credits Kroy for being her rock.

"I'm 100,000 percent certain that Kroy is the one for me," she gushes about the man she hopes to eventually call her husband.

But before walking down the aisle, "I definitely would like one more child," she says. "I would love to have K.J. walking by the wedding. He could be the little ring bearer!"

[From Life & Style]

She does sound happy, and Kroy Senior seems dense, so maybe it will all work out in the end. Maybe she really is "32" too. Maybe pigs are flying. Maybe Clive Owen will walk into the room and take off his pants right now.

Congratulation to Kim, Kroy and K.J.!

Photo courtesy of Life & Style, additional pics by WENN.

David Duchovny and Téa Leoni have split up again

Posted: 29 Jun 2011 07:13 AM PDT

I haven't really followed David Duchovny in a while, and the state of his marriage kind of confused me. According to reports, David and his wife Tea Leoni split up in 2008 after Tea caught ("caught") David screwing around. David claimed he was a sex addict (sure) and he went into "rehab". After the "rehab" cured him of his sex addiction, Tea and David seemed to reunite and there were occasional paparazzi shots of the two of them, or David and Tea with their kids, Madelaine West, 12, and Kyd, 9.

Anyway, last night the couple's rep confirmed that David and Tea are "taking time apart" again. They're separating, but there's no word on whether they will divorce, or perhaps get back together again once David complete another rehab stay for his sex addiction. TMZ's sources say that they don't even know if they're finally going to end it this time. Isn't it fait accompli that David continued to screw around on Tea? You know what's really surprising, though? You rarely hear about his other women. Either David goes with pros, or he goes with very discreet women.

So, is this sad news? Sure, it totally is. I think Tea really loves David, and that's why she sticks around despite his blatant philandering. I think she wants their kids to have a family with mom and a dad who stick it out. But I also think that David has issues. I've always been ambivalent about the "sex addiction" excuse because I think men use it as an easy "out" for screwing around. I don't know if David is addicted to sex… but I don't think he's going to stop philandering any time soon.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

From the Desk of Clive Owen: Did you miss me, bitches?

Posted: 29 Jun 2011 06:52 AM PDT

FROM THE DESK OF CLIVE OWEN:

Hello, my darling biscuits. Did you lovely bitches miss me? I haven't dropped you a line in so long. I've been busy… and no, I haven't been writing to any other girls. It just took me some time to shave off my Hemingway 'stache and fully regain my patented biscuit-quivering hotness again. And I have regained, haven't I? Look at how I smirk at you, knowing that you're drooling? It's fine, my lovers. Clive is here. And these pants come off in a matter of seconds.

These photos of me are from Paris - I was at the "80th Reverso Jaeger Lecoultre Anniversary Party held at the Ecole Des Beaux Arts." Which is much, much too fancy, which is why I got slightly bored and it occurred to me that we hadn't corresponded much lately. Don't even bother telling me what you've been up to - I know already. Michael Fassbender, Gerard Butler, James McAvoy, Alex Skarsgard. You know they're all pussies, right? I could take them all on at once with one hand tied behind my back. I could also give you a night of exquisite pleasure… with your hands tied behind your back. Think about it.

Still, I worried that too much time had passed and that you might be "over" me. So I decided to pose with someone douchey, just so you would realize it: "Ah, Clive really is the ONLY option." Here I am, laughing at Adrien Brody's douche:

And here I am with Catherine Deneuve. NAILED HER! You can tell because she has that perplexed, satisfied look.

In case you needed extra evidence of my badassery, have you watched the trailer for my new movie, Killer Elite, yet? It has Jason Statham and Robert DeNiro and my mustache. But soon you'll forget about the 'stache when I start beating the hell out of people and looking sweaty and peeved and horny. It's erotic, I know.

I mean… how do you NOT want to see that? CLIVE BEING CLIVE. Clive being badass. Clive being sweaty. Clive being aggravated. Clive taking what he wants. Clive taking what he needs. Clive in your bed. You know you can't resist.

Photos courtesy of WENN & Fame.

Pippa Middleton & Alex Loudon are still together: what happened to Uptradey?

Posted: 29 Jun 2011 06:48 AM PDT

Just a few weeks ago, everybody was going crazy with all of these reports about Pippa Middleton breaking it off with her boyfriend/maybe-fiancé Alex Loudon. The reports came on the heels of Pippa going on a holiday to Madrid with her ex, George Percy, who is the future Duke of Northumberland. In addition to the holiday with her ex, she had taken a "job" with Percy, and just after the breakup reports happened, she went out to dinner with Percy, and then spent the night at his place (she was pap'd early in the morning leaving his place, doing the duchess-y walk of shame). Well… whatever happened between Pippa and her ex is long forgotten (ha), because Pippa stepped out with ol' Alex Loudon today for Wimbeldon. These are photos of the outing - what are you doing, Pips?

Speculation has been rife for weeks that Royal bridesmaid Pippa Middleton had answered the prayers of millions of fans and is back on the market. But the Duchess of Cambridge’s sister dismissed the rumours and proved that she is still with boyfriend Alex Loudon today. The couple, who have been dating for almost a year, arrived hand-in-hand at Wimbledon, looking very much a couple.

Pippa looked bright and summery in a tomato red Hobbs NW3 Wyldes dress, which she teamed with tan espadrille wedges. The 27-year-old was spotted doing some last-minute shoe shopping earlier today before heading to Wimbledon to watch Andy Murray’s match against Feliciano Lopez. Fans of the fashionable Middleton sister will be pleased to know that, like Kate’s Alice Temperley dress on Monday, Pippa’s frock is now on sale for £89, down from £129.

Former cricketer Alex, 30, looked smart in a blazer and tie for their day of VIP treatment at the tennis. Pippa’s mother Carole also joined the couple at Wimbledon, wearing a white summer dress with a bright pink and purple floral design.

Pippa, sporting her trademark deep tan, styled her hair in Kate’s favourite loose waves. A relative of Alex’s told the Mail on Sunday earlier this month that the rumours that Pippa and Alex were on the rocks were ‘completely untrue.’

Speculation over a split started when Pippa was spotted enjoying a mini-break in Madrid in May with old flame and former flatmate at Edinburgh University, George Percy. This month Pippa attended a wedding without Alex, and was then spotted giggling with George as they watched tennis at the Queen's Club in West London, before enjoying dinner together. They returned to George's London house and, after hugging each other goodnight, Pippa was seen leaving shortly after 2am.

But a university contemporary said: 'Pippa and George are friends, but that is all. Pippa doesn't fancy George, she's very into Alex. Alex is the nicest chap you could meet. He's incredibly sweet, loyal and adores Pippa, but they make a point of seeing each other very privately and don't go to flash places.'

[From The Mail]

So what are the theories? I think Pippa really did try to break up with Alex, but she did it in a way that left things open and unresolved, because she wants to see if she can upgrade (she is "Uptradey" after all), but if she can't make the duchess thing work, she'll marry Alex. In other photos I've seen of Alex, he looked hotter than he does here. In these pics, he sort of looks like a lug. Guess he's sticking by Pippa no matter how many would-be dukes she bones on the side. The other theory is that little Uptradey just wanted some drama, and so she manufactured it. But that doesn't explain all of the stuff with her ex- I think she's actually trying to make that happen.

Photos courtesy of Pacific Coast News.

Rosie Huntington-Whiteley in red lamé: showgirl fug or stunning?

Posted: 29 Jun 2011 05:53 AM PDT

Last night was the NYC premiere of Transformers: Dark of the Moon, and once again, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley tried to lure me into caring about this film with her fashion porn. Unlike her gorgeous sapphire-blue Burberry gown in London, however, I'm underwhelmed by this red lamé Antonio Berardi Fall 2011 gown. I really love the structure… so what's the problem? I don't know. I think it's the fabric that's bugging me. It's too orange-red for my taste (a blood-red would have been nice) and the sheen is giving me a "Vegas showgirl" vibe. Plus, she looks like Jessica Rabbit. Certainly, there are worse style icons, but the whole effect is kind of meh.

More photos from the New York premiere… there is never a time when Patrick Dempsey's wife is not looking sullen and sulky. I would say she has a "natural bitchface" but I just think she's a morose person.

I don't "get" Josh Duhamel. Never have.

And finally, Shia LaBeouf. I don't like seeing him in a suit nowadays. He needs to just wander around like this.

Photos courtesy of WENN & Fame.

Alicia Keys’ wax figure: accurate or too Caucasian-looking?

Posted: 29 Jun 2011 05:44 AM PDT

There’s really no delicate way to put this - Alicia Keys unveiled her new wax figure at Madam Tussauds in New York yesterday and it looks like her white half sister! The features are off a little, which is typical, but more than that it’s too light. It could possibly be the lighting or the flash. Madam Tussauds’ African American celebrities, such as Will Smith, Beyonce, Denzel Washington, and Rihanna all look closer in skin tone to their originals. (Update note: Alicia is of mixed ethnicity.) It’s possible this is closer to how she looks without bronzer, as some commenters on Bossip are pointing out. A lot of people are also mistaking the wax Alicia with the black pants on for the real Alicia, because you would expect her wax figure to be wearing a dress. So I guess it’s hard to tell.

Another thing people are noticing is that they made her figure a little thick-looking in leather pants. She just had a baby eight months ago and they possibly took her measurements recently and made the mold completely accurate. She looks hot, but I would ask them to shave a size or two off me, and it’s been six years since I had my last kid. It’s a courtesy they owe you when they’re preserving your figure for posterity. It’s like airbrushing with wax - make my hips look skinnier damn it.

Alicia was on Good Morning America yesterday, where she performed Fallin and Butterflyz. She just put out a 10th anniversary edition of her first CD, Songs in A Minor. It seems like a lazy move to just do an anniversary edition, but I guess she’s busy with little Egypt and that beak nosed tax evader husband of hers. I don’t like how she ended up with that scammer, but I can’t be too hard on her. She’ll end up getting hurt in the end for sure.

I like her hair better wavy with the wax figure, but she had it curly on GMA and that was so pretty too. I love that she switched up her hair but left her dress the same.

Photo credit: Fame and WENN

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Cele|bitchy

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