Crushable |
- Fan Fiction: Rejected ‘Transformers’ Characters
- Textual Healing: The Dangers Of Full Communication Assault
- Crushable Quotable: Shia LaBeouf Basically Admits He Hooked Up with Megan Fox on the ‘Transformers 2′ Set
- 5 Facts About Danny Pino, the New ‘Law and Order: SVU’ Detective
- Video: On Rejected ‘Party Down’ Parties
- Love Lessons from ‘The Bachelorette’: Once Again, Bentley Sucks
- YouTube Removes Nyan Cat Video, But Not Before Including a Cute Nyan Cat Ticker
- The Daily WTF: The Best ‘Wire’ Tattoo Ever
| Fan Fiction: Rejected ‘Transformers’ Characters Posted: 28 Jun 2011 11:18 AM PDT
Seatbelt went to college with Optimus Prime and the two were roommates sophomore year. He isn't the toughest soldier, but he's very introspective, so he knows it and it's okay. His weapons include a Swiss Army knife, a vase, and startlingly loud public radio. Additionally, his right arm turns into a colander and he has really great gaydar. Voiced by John Hodgman. C☮e✡i☯t – Subaru C☮e✡i☯t is incredibly loyal to Prime even though she doesn’t always show it. She’s tough and quiet, and is considered the feline expert of the group. Her weapons include a braided rope made of hemp, an acoustic guitar, and pepper spray. C☮e✡i☯t’s left arm transform into a softball bat and her right arm transforms into one of those metal wrench things that come with your IKEA furniture. Voiced by Jodie Foster. Gnasher – Food Truck Gnasher's got a lot of heart, but he's young and kind of clunky. Prime really took to him at the beginning, but now he's not so sure how he feels about the kid. His weapons include frying pans, hot oil, and Sriracha sauce. His right arm transforms into a 10-foot butcher knife, and his left arm transforms what should have been a perfectly fine, normal gyro into an inedible concoction with Thai curry and Caribbean spices and why the fuck are there French fries inside of it? Voiced by James Franco. Quantum – Smart Car Everyone laughs at Quantum all the time. No one knows a thing about him because they can’t get past all the laughing that happens all the time. He may have some great abilities, but at this point they’rehahahahahahahahahahahaha. Voiced by Peter Dinklage. Aerostar: Aerostar Aerostar transforms into a four-piece indie band that wants to sleep on your floor. He’s a really nice guy but he’s pretty aimless, and this often gets him in trouble with Optimus Prime. His weapons include amps, bottles of Miller High Life, the ability to make anyone get off his back, STDs, irony, Converse sneakers, toothpaste maybe, a copy of Gravity’s Rainbow, bottles of Red Stripe, cigarettes, lung cancer, and an uzi. Voiced by Michael Pitt. Related posts: Post from: Crushable Fan Fiction: Rejected ‘Transformers’ Characters  |
| Textual Healing: The Dangers Of Full Communication Assault Posted: 28 Jun 2011 10:55 AM PDT
Hey, guys, this one is for you. I have some helpful advice: no matter how much you may like a girl, unless you know she is THE ONE, don’t text her, Facebook her, call her, email her and then IM her within the span of your first week of meeting her. First of all, these actions are creepy and can be misconstrued as stalk-y (so, scratch what I said about “The One”). But secondly, the more insistent you are in contacting a girl, the more you give the perception that you are interested in spending time with her, getting to know her and heading down relationship lane. If your only intention is to get laid, then you should think twice. After such a big build-up, when you stop calling, texting, emailing and IMing (which, let’s face it, you probably will) you’ll look like an even bigger jerk for putting so much effort in at the beginning only to disappear days, weeks or months later. I call this Full Communication Assault, and while it’s similar to when guys get overeager and text you within minutes or hours of meeting you, it can undoubtedly lead to a text-lationship — where a guy texts you often but never pulls the trigger and asks to see you in person. If both of those things are bad, the Full Communication Assault is worse, because it tricks you into feeling wanted and special, and therefore puts you in a vulnerable position. Let me walk you through a classic Full Communication Assault scenario. I met a nice guy one Saturday morning while walking my dog. He was cute and flirty and made his intentions known immediately. He took a photo of our dogs playing with his phone, and as soon as I gave him my number — so he could send me the photo, naturally — he promised to text me several times later that day. Uh-oh. I thought maybe he was joking. But he made good on his promise and invited my pup and I over for a “puppy play date” that very same day. Later, he friended me on Facebook. The next day he called to invite us to the dog park. A day later I got an email and I figured he had snagged my address off my Facebook profile. The red flags were already waving at that point, but I was into it. Maybe he wasn’t a creepy, desperate stalker. Maybe he saw something special in me. The next day, he IMed me. It had been 4 days and we hadn’t even been out on a date yet. I didn’t need anyone to tell me I was just his obsession of the week. Two weeks of phone calls and IMs ended pretty abruptly, however, and I soon stopped hearing from him altogether. And although I felt disappointed, I looked back at my time spent emailing, IMing and talking to him on the phone and I realized I hadn’t really invested anything more than a few hours into our blossoming relationship. And it made it clear to me: that’s not how any relationship — whether it’s a friendship, friends with benefits, sex buddies or something more serious — can start. You need real, in-the-flesh contact for any relationship to grow. And no amount of virtual communication through various mediums can replace that. I’m not saying that women are not also guilty of Full Communication Assault or getting over eager. I just believe that that’s exactly the sort of thing men expect of us. So, if you’re anything like me, you go to great pains to not call, text, IM or email a guy you just met and really, really like as often as you might feel the urge to. If you haven’t already learned that lesson, then let me tell you: avoid Full Communication Assault. You’ll only end up feeling empty and let down when you feel a connection with a guy you ultimately realize you never knew at all. So what do you if you find yourself the target of a Full Communication Assault? I suggest doing what I advised you to do if you find yourself in a text-lationship situation. Suggest an in-person meeting instead of just talking through text or online. If he emails you, don’t reply. If he calls, tell him you’re too busy to chat, but you’d be happy to meet up for a drink tomorrow night. See how your chemistry is in person before you spend hours on IM. Of course, it’s a different story if you’re talking about someone who lives far away — but why put yourself in that same position with someone who lives in the same town as you? Have you ever found yourself a victim of Full Communication Assault? How did you handle it? How did your relationship end up? Are you guilty of committing Full Communication Assault? Leave your experiences in the comments below and you might see them featured in an upcoming installment of Textual Healing. Related posts: Post from: Crushable Textual Healing: The Dangers Of Full Communication Assault  |
| Posted: 28 Jun 2011 10:24 AM PDT
I’m just going to quote the article because it frames the quote perfectly:
This profile was disappointing in some regards. Not in the writing — it went beyond puff piece and delved into details of LaBeouf’s tough childhood. This access is due in part to LaBeouf’s frank honesty, but that’s where it gets disappointing. He’s so forthright about fame, fans, and his high-profile projects that at times he comes off as an entitled shit. I seem to have a thing going about respect today, but LaBeouf blabbing about hooking up with Fox is disrespectful to her husband. I sort of figure that actors either have open relationships and deal with on-set dalliances, or they learn about it from a source and process that embarrassment privately before the break-up becomes public. For this kid to just shoot his mouth off is a slap in the face to Green. This isn’t the first time that LaBeouf’s muscled in on a relationship, either. The accident that mangled his hand a few years ago happened while he was, in his words, “philandering around” with Isabel Lucas, another Transformers actress. Lucas was then dating Adrian Grenier, but that didn’t matter because as LaBeouf put it, “Neither one of us, I think, were in love. Just sort of experimenting or whatever.” There’s only one woman for Shia, and that’s Maya Rudolph: Related posts: Post from: Crushable  |
| 5 Facts About Danny Pino, the New ‘Law and Order: SVU’ Detective Posted: 28 Jun 2011 09:15 AM PDT
Crime procedurals aren’t new for him. Danny previously spent seven years as a regular on Cold Case, but that’s not the only place he cut his teeth. He also appeared on The Shield, Burn Notice and in a TV movie called Special Investigation: Los Angeles. He’s bilingual. A Miami native of Cuban descent, Danny is also fluent in Spanish. I hope this comes up on the show, since Benjamin Bratt (who was a detective on the now-cancelled “original flavor” Law & Order, was often given scenes where he interacted with suspects and witnesses in his native tongue. He’s a dad. Chris Meloni’s character, Det. Stabler, was often shown interacting with his family and often reacted more harshly when victims reminded him of his kids. There’s no word on whether Danny’s character will be a parent or not, but in real life he and his wife Lilly have two sons, Luca and Julian. One of his most famous costars was Madonna. Danny got his start as a theater actor, and one of his first big roles was in the David Williamson play Up for Grabs in London’s West End. The star of the show was Madonna, who got terrible reviews. Danny played Kel, a young man who decides that he and his wife should invest in expensive works of art. He beat out several other well-known actors for the part. A report claims that Danny and four other actors were flown out to New York last week for screen tests. Among the other finalists for the role were Southland star Kevin Alejandro and Ghost Whisperer star David Conrad. Related posts: Post from: Crushable 5 Facts About Danny Pino, the New ‘Law and Order: SVU’ Detective  |
| Video: On Rejected ‘Party Down’ Parties Posted: 28 Jun 2011 09:09 AM PDT |
| Love Lessons from ‘The Bachelorette’: Once Again, Bentley Sucks Posted: 28 Jun 2011 08:48 AM PDT
The best way to get over an ex is to talk about them all the time. Ashley voiceovers that she won’t be able to find love with any of these guys because she still has feelings for Bentley. Chris Harrison comes in and they have a dumb conversation about Bentley for the billionth time. Chris tells Ashley that Bentley is in the hotel and “has literally flown halfway around the world” (aka, “let the producers fly him halfway around the world”) to come talk to her. Chris encourages her to push Bentley for answers and not to let him be vague. I think Chris kind of hates Bentley. He leaves Ashley with Bentley’s room number and Ashley stares at it for what feels like half the episode before finally going down there. Their interaction is super awkward, maybe because Bentley is a psychopath or because Ashley has finally started to cotton to the fact that he’s a psychopath. Ashley says that the “dot dot dot” thing is not fair because it leaves things too open. Just when I think she’s starting to wise up, she admits that he came into her life for a reason and that she doesn’t know where things stand. Bachelorette conversations are always so weird – they have to talk about relationships all the time, but they use these dumb catchall phrases like “connection” and “process” that don’t actually mean anything, either because they don’t want to say something they’ll regret later or because the camera makes them uncomfortable. Bentley dances around saying that he and Ashley have no future, and Ashley hilariously says “So, this is our period.” Then she gets annoyed with Bentley and tells him he needs to man up. She brings up what Michelle told her about Bentley before the show and admits that she is starting to think Michelle is right. “You came all the way here when you could have just talked to me on the phone?” she asks. This is one of those moments where the answer (“I wanted a free trip”) is something they can’t talk about because it exposes the artifice of the show and the fact that there are people working on it behind the scenes. In her voiceover, Ashley says she’s “done” with Bentley and that she should have realized he sucked from the beginning. You have to try new things. Lucas gets the one-on-one date, leaving Blake and Ryan as the only ones who haven’t one on ones yet. Lucas voiceovers that Hong Kong is really cool and he has never been to a big city before – not even New York. The other guys very cutely call him Big Tex. Ashley takes Lucas to a big loud shopping area, which she describes as pretty typical Hong Kong. They try some random different foods from the market, one of which is intestines. Ashley voiceovers that she’s not thinking about Bentley … which kind of means she’s thinking about him. Ashley and Lucas go on a boat ride down the water and have dinner on it. Ashley asks the producer-chosen “What’s the hardest thing you’ve ever been through?” question, which segues into Lucas talking about the fact that he’s divorced. He invokes G-d a couple of times while explaining that they were just wrong for each other, and admits that Ashley isn’t the sort of girl he has dated in the past but that that’s a good thing. Ashley later offers him the rose, and they finally kiss. Ashley voiceovers that the date was super romantic and that she likes how Lucas makes her feel safe and protected, and she compliments his “manlihood.” (Heh.) You should be willing to humiliate yourself in front of strangers if you want to find love. On the group date, the guys go Dragon Boat racing. The teams are Beneff/Constantine, Blake/Ryan, and Ames/Mickey. However, each team needs at least eight people, so they have to go recruit random people from Hong Kong to help them. Ryan and Blake find someone who can help them by translating. Mickey and Ames find a dude who has won a dragon boat race before and then decide to recruit couples since it saves time. Cut back to Blake and Ryan. Blake voiceovers that Ryan is annoying and that his energy is over the top. Constantine and Beneff’s strategy was to put on these awesome red kimonos, and after that it was way easier to recruit people. Dragon boats are kind of like very long canoes painted red with curls up on the ends. There’s a lot of rowing and yelling, and I wonder if any of these dudes ever did crew. Ashley is a terrible coxswain and keeps hitting some drum the whole time. Although it’s close, Ames and Mickey’s team pulls out a win. They get a gold trophy shaped like a dragon. Near the spot on the beach where they all finish up, a couple gets engaged. Ashley awws. Mickey is getting more voiceovers tonight than he has the rest of the series combined, which either means he’s getting a rose or he’s going to flame out spectacularly. Always carry mints when you make out with multiple people in the same night. Cocktail party time! Ames and Ashley take an elevator up to the top of the building, and he sneaks a kiss on her. Ashley mentions how much she loves the Hong Kong skyline for the fifteenth time this episode. I wonder if she gets royalties from the Tourism Board or something. Next, she makes out with Beneff. How much time elapses between sucking face with different people? Does she brush her teeth? Because that’s gross. Beneff is officially the first one to use the L-word this season, voiceovering about how cool it would be to get a rose from “the girl I love.” Post face-sucking, Beneff and Blake play pool and complain about how annoying Ryan is and how they hope Ashley catches onto it. That probably means she will in like five episodes. Cut to Ashley and Ryan talking to each other. He asks if he can have the next one on one date, which is ballsy but kind of welcome on this show where everyone is vague about everything. As if on cue, Ryan gets the rose from Ashley. In the other room, all the other guys are majorly icked out. Mickey says that if he had been Ryan’s boat partner he would have drowned himself. Beneff voiceovers that he is bummed out about Ashley choosing Ryan but that she’s seen less of him than all the guys have. Related posts: Post from: Crushable Love Lessons from ‘The Bachelorette’: Once Again, Bentley Sucks  |
| YouTube Removes Nyan Cat Video, But Not Before Including a Cute Nyan Cat Ticker Posted: 28 Jun 2011 08:41 AM PDT Thank God I snapped this screenshot yesterday, because YouTube has pulled the original Nyan Cat video! Just like with Rebecca Black‘s “Friday” video, this came out of nowhere. People thought that it was prguitarman, creator of the original Pop-Tart Cat that was then mixed with a high-pitched Japanese pop song to create this amazing meme. But prguitarman has vehemently denied that he filed the copyright claim, in the best way he knows how: through an illustration.
prguitarman is posting updates to his website; he’s currently up to his ears in dealing with copyright issues and tracking down the user who holds the rights to the song. In the meantime, you can access the web-version of this wonderful flying feline, as well as the 200-minute continuous YouTube video that somehow didn’t get pulled down. While we wait for that ruckus to settle, let’s talk about more exciting things, like why yesterday’s version of the original video had an adorable mini-Nyan Cat flying by. What I couldn’t show you was that when I would pause the video, the little Nyan Cat ticker would keep dancing. It was such a smart idea, either by the video’s original uploader or the peeps at YouTube. Let’s see more themed icons for viral videos. Rebecca Black’s could be a bowl of cereal! Related posts: Post from: Crushable YouTube Removes Nyan Cat Video, But Not Before Including a Cute Nyan Cat Ticker  |
| The Daily WTF: The Best ‘Wire’ Tattoo Ever Posted: 28 Jun 2011 08:13 AM PDT |
| Posted: Post from: Crushable |
| Posted: Post from: Crushable |
Seatbelt – Prius
Text messaging is often the fastest way to communicate with friends and acquaintances, but it's not always the best one. Especially when it comes to texting with guys. Here at Crushable we aim to help you sift through all the subtext and emerge relatively unscathed – with a little help from our friend Amanda Ernst. 
Shia LaBeouf, what are you thinking? In an interview with Details, he acknowledged that he and Transformers co-star Megan Fox hooked up, 
After stars Christopher Meloni and Mariska Hargitay announced plans to leave (him) and scale back (her) on Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, a casting call went out for new star detectives. 
ABC’s grand experiment in humiliating Ashley Hebert continues on another week. In case you missed the 1,200 other recaps, the episode opens with a quick recap of the Bentley situation. Ashley voiceovers about this week’s location, Hong Kong, but she segues into talking about Bentley and that godforsaken dot dot dot again. In case you didn’t catch the foreshadowing, Bentley is going to be in this episode. Bentley! Bentley.
(Did any other The Room fans flash to 
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