Crushable |
- Textual Healing: If You Don’t Have Something Nice To Say, Don’t Text At All
- Katy Perry’s Nerd Is Not a True Nerd
- Video: Kitten Stuck in a Hamster Ball
- Danielle Staub Analyzes ‘Real Housewives of New Jersey’ Season 3 Episode 5
- What’s Really Wrong with Selena Gomez, According to WebMD
- Albie and Chris Manzo Are Estranged from Their Step-Cousin Ashley Holmes
- Love Lessons from ‘The Bachelorette’: Shut Up and Kiss Her Already
- Gallery: Happy Flag Day! Celebs Pay Tribute to Betsy Ross
- Poll: What Do You Want ‘Hunger Games’ Fans to Be Called?
| Textual Healing: If You Don’t Have Something Nice To Say, Don’t Text At All Posted: 14 Jun 2011 11:30 AM PDT
You might be lucky enough not to have ever given your phone number to any stupid jerkfaces who text you nasty, mean or vulgar messages. I am not. I’ve gotten angry texts, break-up texts and messages that are not to dissimilar to something Anthony Weiner would send. Each and every time I get one of these messages I am faced with a dilemma: do I write back? If so, what could I possibly say? My advice from my very first Textual Healing column still stands: ignore and delete. When someone is trying to get a rise out of you, either by using hurtful or disgusting words, giving in to their taunts will only make you feel worse. It may be difficult not to type back a simple, “WTF?” but in the end your silence sends the message loud and clear. A few months ago I was bombarded by a series of gross texts from a friend’s boyfriend. I knew he thought he was being funny, but I thought he was offensive — revealing the supposedly true feelings of his friend for me. And he was graphic. And I couldn’t stop him, because at one point we had an actual conversation, which in his mind gave him the go-ahead to harass me. After ignoring him for a few hours, the texts stopped. And when I got another one the next morning, I decided to try to put an end to it once and for all. “Stop texting me,” I wrote back. “Don’t tell me what to do,” he replied. And then…sweet silence. In that case, it worked. But, that tactic won’t work in every situation. Every time I get an inappropriate text, I am struck by the fact that there is no “block” function on a cell phone the way there is on instant messengers and Facebook. Should I be more careful about who I give my phone number to? Probably. But until I am forced to get a completely new number I’m going to stick with my primary method of response, which is actually no response at all. Ignore. Delete. Repeat. It might be difficult at first, but then it will feel liberating. And if you’re the person sending these hateful, angry and disgusting messages, take a moment and consider, “What is my ultimate goal?” If you want to hurt the recipient of your texts, then you’re on the right track. If you actually like or care for them, follow that same advice you learned in kindergarten: If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t text anything at all. Have you ever gotten mean or nasty texts from someone? How did you respond? Leave your experiences in the comments below and you might see it featured in an upcoming installment of Textual Healing. Related posts: Post from: Crushable Textual Healing: If You Don’t Have Something Nice To Say, Don’t Text At All  |
| Katy Perry’s Nerd Is Not a True Nerd Posted: 14 Jun 2011 11:04 AM PDT
Being nerdy is less about how you look than how you act. So putting aside the bad makeup/hair and horrific headgear, “Kathy Beth Terry” by mannerism alone is a clumsy example of the uncool. Her bleating and lisping makes her sound like a mentally retarded person, and upon glimpsing even the slightest bits of fun — like when she gropes the hot guy asleep in her bed, or first steps into Rebecca Black‘s party — she looks like she’s had the mother of all orgasms. It’s not encompassing of socially awkward teenagers: It makes fun of them. Perry is great at teenage nostalgia when it’s the rose-colored, ’80s-movie ideal. She fits perfectly into the archetype of “Teenage Dream”: first love, swim meets, and beach parties. Look up Katy Perry for the invincibility that you always wanted to cherish before you grew up. Don’t go to her for the years you’re glad you can hardly remember anymore. Another problem is that to portray a nerd, Perry was looking backwards. The major difference from the headgeared stereotype she plays is that today’s geek girls finally have the space to be confident about their interests and their creations, which brings them the sexiness that they used to lack. Take the CollegeHumor skit “I’m Such A Nerd” with Katrina Bowden. By looks alone, she’s about as believable a weirdo as Perry, but she really sells it by throwing down with your typical dorky guy. There’s even the YouTuber “Sexy Nerd Girl,” who professes her desire to have sex with Joss Whedon in a rap about how great all Buffy, Firefly, and his other shows are. Sure, it gets more than a little uncomfortable when she keeps saying how she wants to get him naked (“I’ll be naked too”), but this is someone who can laugh at herself enough to upload something this silly. Another thing about “Last Friday Night”: It’s just not that compelling a song about parties gone wrong. For that, check out CollegeHumor’s excellent “I Gotta Feeling” parody. Related posts: Post from: Crushable Katy Perry’s Nerd Is Not a True Nerd  |
| Video: Kitten Stuck in a Hamster Ball Posted: 14 Jun 2011 10:51 AM PDT |
| Danielle Staub Analyzes ‘Real Housewives of New Jersey’ Season 3 Episode 5 Posted: 14 Jun 2011 10:40 AM PDT
Disclaimer: Okay, so Danielle didn’t really write this post. But it doesn’t it totally sound like she did? Related posts: Post from: Crushable Danielle Staub Analyzes ‘Real Housewives of New Jersey’ Season 3 Episode 5  |
| What’s Really Wrong with Selena Gomez, According to WebMD Posted: 14 Jun 2011 10:10 AM PDT This weekend little Selena Gomez was in and out of the hospital complaining of nausea and headaches. So what’s wrong with Selena? It depends on who you ask. Some gossip sites are reporting blood pressure issues,others crying pregnancy, while the horse painter herself is siting malnourishment and exhaustion. But why should we trust any of these sources when no one seems to have consulted the most trusted name in medicine, WebMD? Putting Miss Gomez’s symptoms into the good doctor’s search engine, I’ve discovered what might be really ailing the teen star. And, honey, the prognosis does not look good. Related posts: Post from: Crushable What’s Really Wrong with Selena Gomez, According to WebMD  |
| Albie and Chris Manzo Are Estranged from Their Step-Cousin Ashley Holmes Posted: 14 Jun 2011 10:00 AM PDT
That has to hurt, especially since Ashley’s stepdad Chris Laurita is working on a business venture (black water) with Chris and Albie, since he apparently appreciates their work ethic. Considering that the most memorable thing Ashley has done in two and a half seasons of this show is rip out Danielle Staub‘s weave, that doesn’t bode well for her career options down the road. Hey Ashley? Maybe you can do what most of us did when we first got started in New York – get some roommates, make a bunch of Ramen, and work your butt off. I’ll even take you out to lunch. Related posts: Post from: Crushable Albie and Chris Manzo Are Estranged from Their Step-Cousin Ashley Holmes  |
| Posted: 14 Jun 2011 09:57 AM PDT |
| Love Lessons from ‘The Bachelorette’: Shut Up and Kiss Her Already Posted: 14 Jun 2011 10:06 AM PDT
Let’s get this show on the road, shall we? Trying to speak English to people who don’t speak English is adorable and winsome. Constantine gets the one-on-one date. They plan to boat out to a private island, but a local “hilariously” explains in Thai that the water is dangerous today and it’s not a good idea to go out. (This show making a “tee hee, aren’t brown people so wacky and hilarious” joke: drink!) Dejected, Ashley and Constantine try to come up with a Plan B. Actually, the producers will probably be the ones who come up with a Plan B, but whatever. “We are literally as far away from home as we could ever possibly be,” says Constantine, who evidently has never heard of NASA. They meet an older man who is showing off his wedding ring and speaking only Thai, but luckily a young woman who can translate just happens to materialize from nowhere. She translates for the man, who says that he has been married for 36 years and that the secret to happiness is “don’t try to win.” (This show making a “look how wise these Asian people are!” reference: drink!) Love means not trying to win. Except when you’re on a reality show that is all about winning. Brilliant editing: love isn’t about winning, so we cut back to the other dudes back at the house talking about how they hope Constantine loses. A bunch of the guys whose names I can’t remember get a group date. Back on their date, Ashley and Constantine wander around a market and then get a drink and toast to themselves for “making the best of a rainy day.” In her voiceover, Ashley says that she can’t stop thinking about Bentley, and I want to reach through the screen and smack her. We all have that friend who is hung up on some loser and won’t get the hint even if you put it on a billboard, and Ashley is evidently that friend. She admits that she has “part of her heart” back and that Constantine is a great guy and she thinks they have chemistry, rained out date or otherwise. For some reason, Ashley thinks she should talk to Constantine about her feelings for Bentley, which is the absolute worst first date scenario I can imagine. Constantine asks Ashley how she stays positive, and she says “you need to have strength,” which makes no sense. She asks Constantine how he feels about her and about the date, and he says he’s not holding back at all, that he’s having a great time, and that she has no reason to be insecure. Back at the house, the guys speculate on how Constantine’s date is going, calling him a “gamer” (do they mean “player”? Or does he just love video games?) and saying they’re probably making out now. They then do a show of hands to see who else has made out with Ashley, and one of the Bens (I think F?) says that they’re all “going after the same fruit” so it’s natural to be jealous of each other. Cut to Ashley asking Constantine about his past relationships. Sigh. After a bunch of cliches, she gives Constantine a rose. “Hopeless Ashley is now hopeful again!” she announces. Group date time! Ashley apparently just found out that there was a tsunami in Phuket a couple of years ago, and she brings the guys to an orphanage that was founded after the storm. She announces that the guys are going to help her paint the whole place, inside and out, to make it cheery for the kids. JP (call me!) voiceovers about what a great idea it was, because Ashley could have chosen to do anything and she chose to focus on giving back. I like Ashley and want to believe she’s a good person, but I think the producers arranged everything on the entire show and she probably got no input into any of it. She does a lot of standing around while we get shots of the guys painting and sweating through their clothes. Ben F. decides he’s going to paint a mural, and I’m kind of crushing on him now. He’s really self-deprecating and not pulling this “I have to talk about myself 24/7 so that the audience/Ashley/but mostly the audience will remember me” schtick that some of the other guys are doing. Ashley joins him and paints a flower on his mural. Ben points out that you have to do something to “separate yourself from the herd,” and the editors cut to his mural of an elephant. At the end of the day, all the kids who live in the orphanage come running out to thank the guys for their help. The guys voiceover about how kind and saintly and generous Ashley is. They know she can’t see the talking head segments, right? Just kiss her already. Ben F. and Ashley sit on a couch and drink wine and he flat out says Ashley helped him paint the mural because she has a thing for him. Nice work! It’s about time someone on this show didn’t just wait around mooning at the camera and hoping that Ashley will take initiative. Ben just leans in and kisses her and then Ashley voiceovers that she likes how confident he’s becoming. Later, Ryan comes over to the couch and Ashley asks him about the personalities in the house and how all the guys are getting along with each other. Diplomatically, Ryan says that he gets along well with other dudes – but in his head he’s adding “just not these dudes.” For some reason, Ashley and JP stand outside in the rain under an umbrella, and he says that the experience with the kids changed his life. Ashley says that she owes JP a really good date to make up for the one where she just mooned about Bentley the whole time, and JP awesomely says that the date was great and he can’t wait for the next one. JP kisses Ashley, and she voiceovers that his kisses are “magical.” I’d believe her more if she ever shut the fuck up about Bentley and quit bringing him up every twelve seconds. At the end of the night, Ashley gives Ben F. the group date rose. Finally, a good decision. Related posts: Post from: Crushable Love Lessons from ‘The Bachelorette’: Shut Up and Kiss Her Already  |
| Gallery: Happy Flag Day! Celebs Pay Tribute to Betsy Ross Posted: 14 Jun 2011 09:36 AM PDT |
| Poll: What Do You Want ‘Hunger Games’ Fans to Be Called? Posted: 14 Jun 2011 09:09 AM PDT The official Hunger Games fandom name poll is now live! You’ve got six choices for what you think the fandom should be called, including an option simply for “Hunger Games fans.” DownWithTheCapitol put up a great pre-vote article listing the pros and cons of each choice, if you’re still not swayed in any direction. (Personally, I’m stuck between Jabberjays and Tributes.) Voting runs until Friday, June 24, at 11:59 p.m. EST. Once DWTC has determined a winner, we the fandom will formally introduce ourselves to Lionsgate under the chosen name. So make sure to vote and tell your friends to as well! You’ll be seeing whichever nickname gets chosen a lot in the coming months and years. Related posts: Post from: Crushable Poll: What Do You Want ‘Hunger Games’ Fans to Be Called?  |
Text messaging is often the fastest way to communicate with friends and acquaintances, but it's not always the best one. Especially when it comes to texting with guys. Here at Crushable we aim to help you sift through all the subtext and emerge relatively unscathed – with a little help from our friend Amanda Ernst. 
Katy Perry is one of those performers with whom I have a contentious relationship. “Hot N Cold” and “California Gurls” are my driving-on-the-freeway anthems, and yet I hate “Waking Up in Vegas” — and I’ve got a few issues with her new single, “Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.).” It’s less the song itself than the eight-minute short film of a music video, and Perry’s bad impersonation of a nerdy girl.
This week’s episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey was all about the kids. From Ashley getting a new car to Gia’s gymnastics meet, we got to see how the real Jersey kids lived. Personally, I found a new hero in Joey Wakile, who broke it to his parents that he might have the occasionally drink on the weekends when he gets to high school. If only all kids were that honest. Of course, you know Danielle Staub has her own take on the episode. Check out what she had to say.
On Real Housewives of New Jersey, Caroline Manzo‘s sons Albie Manzo and Chris Manzo were such popular scene-stealers that they got their own spinoff show, the Bravo webseries Boys to Manzo. But it hasn’t worked out so well for their step-cousin, Ashley Holmes (daughter of their aunt, Housewife Jacqueline Laurita). While Albie and Chris have been depicted as solid kids with good work ethics – after Albie left law school he enrolled in the police academy, and Chris works at family business the Brownstone – Ashley has been portrayed as lazy and entitled. Though her mom’s connections (and, likely, the exposure from the show) helped Ashley score an internship with power publicist Lizzie Grubman, Ashley complained about the work she was expected to do and asked her mom and stepdad to pay all her expenses and get her an apartment in Manhattan (luckily, they said no). And it looks like her parents aren’t the only ones fed up with Ashley’s entitled personality – Albie told NJ.com that 
This show is two hours long every week. TWO HOURS, people. I get the season finale being two hours long, but this shit is interminable. It could be an hour if they cut out all the unecessary recapping of everything five minutes after it happened, because it is majorly depressing watching Ashley cry again after she was humiliated last week. This week, the gang is off to Thailand, because it is worth humiliating yourself on national TV in order to get a free trip to Phuket. Because this is The Bachelorette, they make sure to illustrate Thailand by showing pictures of monkeys and elephants and playing the “Asian Music” button on their Casio keyboard.
| You are subscribed to email updates from Crushable To stop receiving these emails, you may unsubscribe now. | Email delivery powered by Google |
| Google Inc., 20 West Kinzie, Chicago IL USA 60610 | |
No comments:
Post a Comment