Cele|bitchy

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• Lindsay Lohan went out partying after her failed drug tests
• Russell Brand was arrested for battery on a paparazzo
• Britney Spears’ busted weave takes another turn for the worse
• Paris Hilton isn’t going to jail, got 1 year probation for cokepurse incident

Lindsay Lohan went out partying after her failed drug tests Posted: 19 Sep 2010 08:18 AM PDT After TMZ (and other outlets) began confirming late Friday afternoon that Lindsay Lohan had tested positive at least once (probably twice or more) for cocaine and other drugs, you'd think that the crackhead would lay low, waiting out the storm. Not our Lindsay, though. She must figure that her ass is going back to jail or rehab, so she better go on a f-cking bender, get coked up and hit all the babies she can. After the testing-positive story came out, Lindsay tweeted her "pity poor me, I'm a crack liar and I got caught" message, then went out to dinner (photos above) with two "male friends" (dealers, or maybe johns). Radar notes that Lindsay and her dudes were "were smiling and laughing, without a hint of the serious situation Lindsay is in." Speaking of crack denial, Lindsay's Inferno director Matthew Wilder still hopes that she's going to do his Linda Lovelace bio-pic. Dear God… Matthew Wilder, the director of Lindsay Lohan’s planned next movie, has admitted to RadarOnline.com that he was “stunned” to hear of his star’s failed drugs test. The result could cause the starlet to go back to jail for 30 days, and would have a devastating impact on Inferno, a biopic about the late porn star Linda Lovelace. Wilder and the movie’s financiers have already held talks about the heavy insurance implications this could now have for the project. But despite the news, Wilder is still standing by Lohan. “I am stunned at this news but our love and prayers go out to Lindsay Lohan at this time,” he told RadarOnline.com. “Hopefully we can work this out and we are still trying to get to the bottom of what has happened. For obvious reasons any talks with Lindsay and her representatives will stay confidential. It is a lot of pressure having the world watching you but she seemed to be doing well recently.” Many insiders felt that Inferno was the last role of the dice for the starlet in Hollywood because of her well-documented personal problems. Lohan will now have to go back before Judge Elden Fox who had made clean drug tests an absolute condition of her probation. Any “dirty” test, the Judge had said, would result in a 30-day jail sentence per violation. It remains to be seen if Lohan will be able to film Inferno if she is jailed once again. Both Wilder and his producers hoped to begin filming around November and were just about to announce the lead actor to play opposite Lindsay before news of her failed drug test broke. [From Radar] Lindsay was already considered uninsurable before she tested positive… so what else could happen? Jesus. If Lindsay ever wants to work again, she's going to have to front the money herself, probably from turning tricks. By the way, after getting all coked up with those male companions on Friday night, she spent Saturday night all coked up at an AA meeting. Don't believe me? Look at these photos at TMZ - Lindsay's face is all "I needed a hit before I went to my AA meeting, so what?" F-cking bullsh-t. Also, TMZ has a story about Lindsay's unnamed friends claiming that Lindsay now knows that she "truly has a problem." Her friends say that "she's beating herself up over this" and that she "feels like she just ruined all these really great opportunities that were coming her way.” Doubt it. She's probably just as entitled and f-cked up as before. By the way, as the story was breaking, Lindsay was driving herself to the recording studio in her new sports car, a white Porsche Cayman. She returned the Maserati after she clipped a baby.

Russell Brand was arrested for battery on a paparazzo Posted: 19 Sep 2010 07:50 AM PDT Russell Brand was arrested on Friday on misdemeanor battery charges for assaulting a paparazzo, or several paparazzi. The paparazzi claim that they were just taking photos of Katy Perry and Brand when Brand attacked them. Brand and Perry's story seems to be that the photographers had gotten too close, and that one of them was trying to shove his camera up Katy's skirt, and Brand was just defending his lady's honor. Or that the photographers were simply blocking his path - something like that. Russell Brand was arrested at LAX on Friday afternoon, L.A. Airport Police confirmed to UsMagazine.com. The British comic, 35, and his fiancee Katy Perry were going through airport security when Brand reportedly began pushing and striking photographers snapping pictures of the famous pair. One of those paparazzos then placed Brand under citizen’s arrest. Brand was then interviewed by airport police and taken into custody. He and Perry, 24, did not board their schedule Delta flight to Las Vegas. Russell Brand has been released from police custody for a misdemeanor charge of simple battery. His bail was set at $20,000. He is due to appear at an LA court on October 15th. About the incident, Katy tweeted: “If you cross the line & try an put a lens up my dress, my fiancé will do his job & protect me." [From Us Weekly] Yeah, this seems like a non-incident, honestly. I'm surprised it went down like this, and that Brand was arrested. If it had gone down outside a club, I doubt anything would have come of it, but since it happened in an airport, everyone panicked. On one side, yes, I totally understand why Brand went berserk, and I think it's sweet that he protected his girl, and if the pap was really shoving his camera up Katy's skirt, then that is totally a violation. On the other side, why violently attack a photographer for any reason? That's what they want. Don't engage. Eh. Plus, there are a million Katy Perry up skirt photos - she's always in miniskirts, and she's always flashing. Whatever. Russell, Katy, the police and the paparazzi during the incident on Sept. 17, 2010. Credit: WENN.

Britney Spears’ busted weave takes another turn for the worse Posted: 19 Sep 2010 07:30 AM PDT It's been another bad weekend for Britney's busted weave. Brit-Brit went out and about on Friday in some short-shorts and a white lacey top. Under normal circumstances, I would compliment the look - Britney is getting a little bit better at only inappropriately exposing one part of her body at a time lately - and on Friday, it was her legs. So, kudos to whoever is dressing her and making sure she's got her "brawn" (bra on). However, whoever is responsible for the weave… well, Daddy Spears needs to hire someone full time, or replace the current weave guy, or something. Because this junk… Ghastly. Not quite as bad as this, but it's still very gross. Can you imagine being around The Weave? What does it smell like? Is she using her daddy's grits as shampoo? "I like the way it makes my hair smell, y'all," Britney says. In other Britney news, she's not engaged to Jason Trawick, y'all. She (her people) denied that sh-t on her website. I wonder if Britney does want to marry Jason and he's just waiting for his contract to be up? They did look really happy in Hawaii - and Jason seems like a solid "handler" for Brit. Is that enough to make a good marriage? Eh. Britney on Sept. 17, 2010. Credit: Fame.

Paris Hilton isn’t going to jail, got 1 year probation for cokepurse incident Posted: 19 Sep 2010 06:54 AM PDT Paris Hilton just doesn't have the sociopathy necessary to keep up the coked-up legal drama of an arrest. If Lindsay Lohan had been arrested on felony cocaine possession in Las Vegas, we would be getting breezy daily comments by Dina Lohan and the incessant crack drama of Lindsay telling the world that none of it was her fault and that she will fight the charges indefinitely. Paris went for the lesser drama. According to E! News, Paris has accepted a plea deal offered by the Las Vegas DA in which she'll plead guilty to misdemeanor drug possession and "obstructing an officer" - and her sentence will be a year of probation, a suspended sentence, a fine, completion of a drug abuse program, and 200 hours of community service. Well… good for Paris? C’est la vie, Paris Hilton. The recently busted heiress has accepted a plea deal, agreeing to cop to misdemeanor drug possession and obstructing an officer in order to avoid a felony cocaine rap. Look who’s getting smarter by the minute… Hilton will enter her guilty plea Monday and be sentenced to a year of probation, Clark County District Attorney David Roger said Friday. The plea agreement also entails that she complete a drug abuse program, pay a $2,000 fine and serve 200 hours of community service. In return, two consecutive six-month sentences in the Clark County Detention Center will be suspended. Interestingly, a felony cocaine-possession conviction carried mandatory probation, not jail time. “We fashioned a resolution which would give us complete control over her future,” Roger told the Las Vegas Review-Journal. “If she does not toe the line and stay out of trouble, she will do one year in the Clark County Detention Center.” Hilton was arrested Aug. 27 in Las Vegas following a traffic stop outside the Wynn hotel after boyfriend Cy Waits failed a field sobriety test and officers started asking questions. She reached for a lip gloss, .08 grams of coke fell out of her purse, yada yada yada… FYI, the obstruction charge was recently tacked on, added because authorities determined that Hilton was lying when she told officers her bag belonged to someone else. “In truth, the Defendant purchased the Chanel handbag months earlier,” the complaint states. Waits was arrested for misdemeanor DUI and is due in court Nov. 29. Meanwhile, with jail off the table, Paris has booked a trip to Asia! Hilton’s rep announced this morning that the Jill of all trades will be holding fashion shows in Tokyo, Jakarta and Kuala Lumpur next week and visiting her seven boutiques, including a new one opening in Jakarta’s Grand Indonesia Mall. [From E! News] Poor Asia. Anyway, regarding Paris's sentence… I'm disappointed. I really was hoping for jail time, but I guess I should have predited this, considering everything about Paris's arrest screamed special treatment. I do, however, appreciate that Paris has to admit that the cokepurse was hers. Small justice, I know. Sigh… to be rich, famous, talentless and entitled. Must be nice.

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